I try not to be an avid Google-er. It can only make you crazy. I have in the past, however, read about eating pineapple during a certain point in your cycle can help with implantation. Thinking at the time that seemed improbable, I didn’t think much else of it.

Last night I agreed to sit (literally) while my friends’ baby slept during the transition of dad leaving and mom coming home. While checking the blog before I left, The Hopeful Pink Lady, asked if I had started eating my pineapple core. Pineapple core? Turns out the core of the pineapple contains an enzyme called Bromelain that can aid in the implantation of an embryo if eaten the day of transfer and the next four days after.

Crap, I was already one day late.

Now, I just want to throw in there that I am not typically superstitious. I walk under ladders. Black cats are free to cross my path. But darn it, I was not going to go 4 more days without something that might help bubbles and squishy implant. I think something about the time, money and stress of this whole thing makes you willing to try just about anything. (thank goodness she didn’t suggest I stand on my head as I ate it)

Easy peasy, right? I stop at the grocery store on the way to their house, buy said fresh pineapple and I’m home free and helping the little buddies nestle.

Except I have no idea how to pick out a pineapple. They all look the same to me. I pick them up and start to smell them, figuring that if I can’t smell a pineapple-y (yes I made that up) smell then its probably not ready. I ask a random dude next to me if he has any idea how to pick out a ripe pineapple. He states that he thought I was the expert, as I was picking them up and smelling them and all. Soon after I found an employee that explained its actually all about the leaves, though in my defense, the best one did actually smell pineapple-y.

Satisfied with my purchase and contribution, I headed back to my car to drive over to my friends house.

Except it wouldn’t start. My battery had died. At 9pm. In the Publix parking lot. And not just like almost turn over and die, like dead – like none of the interior lights turned on dead. It was dead. (did I mention it was dead?)

Well isn’t that freaking fabulous? At the END of the day that I’ve had 2 days off of work and ALL THE STORES ARE CLOSED, my battery dies.

Not to be outdone, I walked briskly to the Auto Zone nearby, caught the lady RIGHT before she locked up and plead my case. My car battery JUST died – its over there – pretty please can I get a battery. She hemmed and hawed and finally agreed that if I could get someone to jump it so I could drive it over she would sell me a battery and replace it. Thank goodness because I don’t think my “hey but I COULD be pregnant” card would have gotten me very far.

So, $120 later,  I had my pineapple…..and a new car battery. And you better believe that I cut that darn thing up even after I got home at midnight and ate my piece.

The offending pineapple.

Bubbles and Squishy? You better appreciate this.