Once upon a time, there lived a world without cell phones. A time when we went to the mall and had to plan a meeting time and place to go our separate ways. A time when we had to pay for long distance calls. A time when we needed the computer to get on the internet. A time when we were forced to stand in grocery lines and read magazines or stare into space. A time when killing time meant thinking, or talking.
Now its an extra freaking limb.
I got my first cell phone the end of my senior year of high school before heading off to college.
Ok. It wasn’t that bad. (and seriously? that is not a cell phone, it is a brick with a keypad). Mine was pretty small, had a bottom part that flipped open, and a nifty green glow and a handful of MIDI ringers. My next one was cooler because it glowed BLUE, had a couple black and white pixeled screen savers and even the worm game. (weeeee). The next one had a COLOR SCREEN! And a fun kangaroo screen saver. This was also about the time I started texting (sometime 2005-2006), but had to connect to the “internet” that took literally 5 minutes to load so therefore wasn’t used much. I had two more after that (I had a tendency to wash things that don’t belong in the washer) but really had no interest in a phone that allowed me to get on the internet and check email because, wasn’t that what computers were for? Plus, I was a total T9word text master.
Then one day, a friend of mine went with me to pick up the dog I had decided to adopt. She had a blackberry. I sat in the car and played a game, saying aloud that while it was cool, I didn’t really see the point. (total lie)
A few days later, I popped on ebay and bought myself my very own Blackberry Pearl.
And it was all over. (Apparently, once you go black, you never go back). Since then, my cell phone has been glued to my side like the Epi Pen of a bee keeper allergic to bees. Email on my phone? yes please. Internet at my fingertips? Heck yeah! $30 a month more on my phone bill? Sign me up! Once upon a time I could leave my phone unattended for hours. Now? If I don’t feel the familiar heaviness in my pocket, panic sets in. (OMG! I might have missed a Facebook notification!) It’s probably the only true contender to my husband’s affection. In fact, I even sometimes get this “phantom vibration”, where I SWEAR I felt my phone vibrate, but go to check it and…..nothing. Crap. But that’s ok, because it’s my turn on Words With Friends.
I do have to admit, there are so many handy apps now though. It’s really cool to be able to find restaurants near where you are, see what movies are playing without having to listen to the recording of the name of every movie and every time it’s playing that day. And really? who needs a map anymore.
So to you, extra limb cell phone, an Ode:
I think I lost my cell phone
The world is coming to an end
Has someone seen my cell phone?
My one and only friend
Yeah I see you standing there
With nothing else to do
But it’s my turn on Words With Friends
So I’m ignoring you
I hear you telling me about
Your weekend, yeah it’s great
I didn’t do much either
Oops, I felt my phone vibrate
My husband planned a great date
Just the two of us alone
We can spend some time connecting
Well, once I check my phone
December 12, 2011 at 10:28 pm
Thank you for the much needed laugh! It is so sad how reliant we have become on our cell phones. I got my first cell phone at 16 and it also had the snake game. I miss that game, so classic.
BTW we should totally play Words with Friends 😉 *is a nerd*
December 13, 2011 at 3:39 pm
I’m totally in. What’s your username?
December 12, 2011 at 10:30 pm
I remember back in the day, when I was driving to Miami… I had to use this paper thing with a picture of the roads on it, and I had to read signs, and talk to people to figure out where I was. I don’t know how I survived.
December 13, 2011 at 6:58 am
LOLLLLLL!!!! So stinkin’ true. My first smartphone was also a Crackberry!
Oh, and my Parents’ first cell phone was totally the brick with the keypad. I hated how the green button to call someone was called “send.” As someone who isn’t a software developer, that never made sense to me.
Oh and I still think I can text in T9 way faster than I can with an actual keyboard on a phone 😛
December 13, 2011 at 3:40 pm
Yeah I always wondered about that too….like what am I sending, exactly? I’ve tried to teach my mom T9word (she has a dino phone still) but she can’t quite get it. lol
December 13, 2011 at 9:58 am
Hahahahaha! This is hilarious. I am sharing the poem with Mr. Husband who has dubbed my iPhone my “wubbie” because I can’t go anywhere without it. 🙂
December 13, 2011 at 3:39 pm
That’s hysterical. And now I’m trying to come up with a name for my own. Hmmmm…
December 13, 2011 at 4:33 pm
Haha, thanks for the laugh! My first cell phone was only slightly smaller than the one you pictured and we called it “The Zack Morris phone” because it looked like the one he used in Saved By The Bell. Good times 🙂
December 14, 2011 at 8:03 pm
Can you imagine what our kids/grandkids are going to say when we tell them that we used to live without them? I mean, I lost mine the entire first semester of college, but it didn’t really matter since NO ONE ELSE HAD ONE. LOL
July 26, 2012 at 2:04 pm
LMAO!! I needed a good laugh today and there is your blog post which make me reminisce at the same time on the old mobile phones that I use to have. To think that my first mobile phone is Sony Ericson which is long and has an antennae that makes you think it’s a radio than it’s a mobile phone. Next was the Motorola that has a hunched back and when you remove it you’ll get to see that it’s the phones battery,hahaha.. I own a Blackberry 9800 model and an iPhone 4s.. Good and reliable phones to have, 🙂