Once upon a time, there lived a world without cell phones. A time when we went to the mall and had to plan a meeting time and place to go our separate ways. A time when we had to pay for long distance calls.  A time when we needed the computer to get on the internet. A time when we were forced to stand in grocery lines and read magazines or stare into space. A time when killing time meant thinking, or talking.

Now its an extra freaking  limb.

I got my first cell phone the end of my senior year of high school before heading off to college.

Ok. It wasn’t that bad. (and seriously? that is not a cell phone, it is a brick with a keypad). Mine was pretty small, had a bottom part that flipped open, and a nifty green glow and a handful of MIDI ringers. My next one was cooler because it glowed BLUE, had a couple black and white pixeled screen savers and even the worm game. (weeeee). The next one had a COLOR SCREEN! And a fun kangaroo screen saver. This was also about the time I started texting (sometime 2005-2006), but had to connect to the “internet” that took literally 5 minutes to load so therefore wasn’t used much. I had two more after that (I had a tendency to wash things that don’t belong in the washer) but really had no interest in a phone that allowed me to get on the internet and check email because, wasn’t that what computers were for? Plus, I was a total T9word text master.

Then one day, a friend of mine went with me to pick up the dog I had decided to adopt. She had a blackberry. I sat in the car and played a game, saying aloud that while it was cool, I didn’t really see the point. (total lie)

A few days later, I popped on ebay and bought myself my very own Blackberry Pearl.

And it was all over. (Apparently, once you go black, you never go back). Since then, my cell phone has been glued to my side  like the Epi Pen of a bee keeper allergic to bees. Email on my phone? yes please. Internet at my fingertips? Heck yeah! $30 a month more on my phone bill? Sign me up! Once upon a time I could leave my phone unattended for hours. Now? If I don’t feel the familiar heaviness in my pocket, panic sets in. (OMG! I might have missed a Facebook notification!) It’s probably the only true contender to my husband’s affection. In fact, I even sometimes get this “phantom vibration”, where I SWEAR I felt my phone vibrate, but go to check it and…..nothing. Crap. But that’s ok, because it’s my turn on Words With Friends.

I do have to admit, there are so many handy apps now though. It’s really cool to be able to find restaurants near where you are, see what movies are playing without having to listen to the recording of the name of every movie and every time it’s playing that day. And really? who needs a map anymore.

So to you, extra limb cell phone, an Ode:

I think I lost my cell phone

The world is coming to an end

Has someone seen my cell phone?

My one and only friend

Yeah I see you standing there

With nothing else to do

But it’s my turn on Words With Friends

So I’m ignoring you

I hear you telling me about

Your weekend, yeah it’s great

I didn’t do much either

Oops, I felt my phone vibrate

My husband planned a great date

Just the two of us alone

We can spend some time connecting

Well, once I check my phone

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