*warning – foul language*
One of the things I really like about WordPress is the “Dashboard” section. It allows you to keep track of how many people have viewed your blog that day, which posts were the most popular, what links have been clicked, and (and the topic of today’s post) what internet search terms were used to find your blog.
This has a tendency to be amusing.
Alot of the search terms make sense:
- Kids say the darndest things – since I wrote a post with that exact title
- Infertility blog
- Various pregnancy related searches
- Pinterest, thanks to Ode to Pinterest
A few seem a little strange:
- Encrypted_Search_Terms: what is this? The CIA searching for my blog? You can’t tell me what the search was?
- Brain to mouth filter: I guess I’m not the only one to coin the term. But still somewhat makes sense since I wrote a post about it
- Marriage finish line: this one amuses me because I’m wondering the reasoning behind this particular search. Is someone wondering if there is an end to marriage? If so, “finish line” is not the search you’re searching for. Try: divorce
- Siri will you have sex with me?/How to hide a dead body Siri: makes sense because of my post on Siri, and I’m assuming whomever was looking was probably just looking up funny responses Siri has given to questions, but still a slightly creepy search
- Woman peeing into a glass: I can only guess this is some sort of weird fetish. My brain can’t wrap itself around any other reason
- Tell me about yourself journey: just strangely worded
- Oddly shaped boobs: I’m pretty sure I’ve never talked about my boobs…..
- Oral steroids marathon training: someone is cheating!
A few days ago, though, while glancing at obsessing over my stats, I glanced down at the “search engine terms” section and found this:
I feel a little violated.
I’m pretty sure my blog is mostly about infertility and running, with some humor and ranting in between. So unless I sleep-blogged some sort of p0rn (I had to use a zero for the o, so no one could find me using THAT search), which I’m pretty sure I would have found out about, I have NO IDEA how this particular search led to my blog!
I hope they found what they were looking for.
Journey To the Finish Line 
December 14, 2011 at 10:33 pm
Haha, thanks for the laugh! I get the creepiest search terms too, mostly involving the word boobs. I am pretty sure I have only referred to them in terms of breastfeeding, but I guess people will take what they can get 🙂
December 14, 2011 at 11:11 pm
Yeah that was the craziest of the crazy. But also hysterical!
December 14, 2011 at 11:06 pm
LOL 🙂
Really…I can’t stop laughing at this! I had some funny ones this week too!
December 14, 2011 at 11:11 pm
Maybe you should share yours 🙂
December 15, 2011 at 10:57 am
Yours are definitely funnier….I had some this week about baking since I did my cupcake post, but some baking things that were misspelled that made me giggle a little, plus some other things I just thought were gross, like covering an entire cupcake in fondant. Ick. It doesn’t taste great, so why do it?
The oddest one I’ve had personally was about cervical mucus, which, even though I write about ttc a lot, I don’t recall ever mentioning my cervix….ever. So to that I ask, “and Google brought you here…why?”
January 5, 2012 at 6:34 pm
I remembered what it was that was weird! It was the referrals! On the part where it shows you how people got to your blog, whether it was from a search engine, their WP dashboard, or another person’s blog or what not, I’ve had some very odd things pop up in there….including sites I have never visited….EVER. How would someone get to my site from this random website about cooking? I click on the link to see if maybe they have some random link to my page and can’t find anything. It’s just weird.
December 14, 2011 at 11:19 pm
“I hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl”
Oh my god! I almost peed my pants laughing… who searches these things?!
December 15, 2011 at 8:02 am
I Actually found that one on pinterest. After I saw that I had to post it! Thanks for stopping by!
December 15, 2011 at 1:42 am
I did a piece today on search terms that people used to stumble onto my blog, but you win hands down with “cum shoot anus” – the dodgiest one I had was someone who was, I assume, looking for puppet pornography.
December 15, 2011 at 8:03 am
I’ll be checking that out because I am now oddly curious about what search might be leading to puppet porn. Eek.
December 15, 2011 at 2:16 pm
Hahah!!! Wow. I can’t even begin to imagine how that happened. The internet is a strange place sometimes 🙂