I feel a little out of control recently.

And because I a little (ha!) type A, it drives me a bit crazy.

When we decided to move forward with the IUI idea, I remember saying literally “lets give it a shot”. Maybe all our systems need is a bit of a push forward to make this happen. Maybe they need more than that, but it seemed worth a chance or two.  I spent quite a bit of time debating though – if it doesn’t work, its money taken away from our IVF fund, its time taken from work.

Dh’s job search had yielded a few prospects, but nothing that turned out to be the right kind of opportunity. Then, a few weeks ago (right when we were discussing and planning the IUI), he got a call from a contract company looking for someone to work in research and development, something he’s very interested in. Unfortunately for us, the company is located out of Florida, and they want us to move there (it’s a temporary contract that I think they want to make permanent). I am not ready to move (we just finished the floors and fence darn it!) For the time being though, he will be traveling back and forth – to Florida on weekdays and home on weekends. It kinda gives everyone a chance to feel this out, but we are kinda taking things week by week.

They are both going to be an interesting experiment. I have no idea what to expect from this fertility treatment because it’s our first.  I always hated living by myself when I was single, but I keep busy so that should help. Things are suddenly so different. Plus:

Today was my first shot.

You vs. me Mr injection pen

As with anything new I was a little nervous but it turned out to be really rather anticlimactic. I spent more time trying to get the darn Follist.im container out of the plastic than I did giving myself the actual injection. (Sometimes I think they make those packages child adult proof). It stung bit afterwards but otherwise didn’t hurt at all. I have one more tomorrow and a follicle check on Tuesday.

One of the things that drives me the craziest about infertility is how little control I have over any of it, besides taking my medicines on time and showing up to scheduled appointments. I have no control over how well the medicine works or how my body responds. Same with DH’s job. (though the unknown is more annoying to me than a lack of control). The fact is, I have no idea whether any of it is going to work out at all.

We’re just gonna give it a shot, literally and figuratively, and hope for the best.

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