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Journey To the Finish Line

PR's, 4 children, hopes and dreams; I'm always running after something

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potty training

Pee Potty Lollipop

Before the twins were born, I SWORE I would not be someone who waits until their kids are three to potty train. I didn’t want to deal with diapers longer than necessary, and dang it my kids were going to be SMART and train EARLY.

Today, they are 5 months away from turning 3 and, you guessed it, not trained. Miles has had a couple successes, and both will “try”, but largely the sh*t still hits the pull up.

Sadly though, the reason why they aren’t trained isn’t because they aren’t SMART and couldn’t train EARLY. Both get the concept.

Mom is lazy.

I am lazy.

I like waking up in the morning without having to rush someone to the toilet.

I like taking them for walks without worrying about when the last potty break was, or having to figure out how I’m going to run BOTH of them home when we get a block away and someone declares he has to pee.

I like taking them in the car for the same reason.

I like being able to let them play in chick fil a without having to drag both toddlers, one peeing, one screaming, because I simply can’t leave one in the play area alone while I take the other to pee.

Still, this has to happen sometime, right? We did kinda try this attempt once a couple months back, and then once last weekend. What we learned was that Abby is a stealth pee-er, and while Miles doesn’t appreciate peeing on himself, it isn’t enough to motivate him to stop.

Tonight, Miles declares he has to pee potty. Hooray! I think. So we will pull out his potty and he declares:

“Pee potty, lollapop” (lollipop)

Because in the past, I’ve given them one for just sitting on it, and now he thinks all he has to do is sit on it and he gets one.

“Pee potty lollapop, mommy”

“Sorry buddy” I say, “but if you want a lollipop, you actually have to pee IN the potty.”

He is silent

“Peeeee potttttyy lolllllapoooooop”

Sigh.

“Is there pee in the potty? You can have a lollipop if you pee IN the potty.”

He is starting to lose it now.

“PEEEEEEE POTTTTTTTY LOLLLLLLLOPOOOOOPPP!!!!!!”

Sigh.

There was no pee potty. There was no lollipop. My kid went to bed unhappy, and we have reached failed attempt number 2387293649827643.

Hand me a pull up.

Till the Brown Leaves Town

The twins are rapidly approaching (many would say are probably already there) potty training age. Me, the one who swore up and town she was potty training early, has been lazy. Clearly, dealing with diapers is less annoying than dealing with all of the fun early potty training brings, like wondering if I should even bother leaving the house because one will be bound to say he has to use the potty as we turn out of the neighborhood.

Still, I don’t want the twins to be the only untrained ones in their daycare class, and while we were “trapped” in the house this weekend I thought we might give the”run around naked watch like a hawk and carry to potty when someone starts to pee” method.

Saturday, after my run, I thought.

No, after nap.

Ok, Sunday.

I meant Monday.

Monday I really did finally rip a diaper off Abby and proceed to stare at my 2 year olds butt more than I ever stared before. Ironically, it was then that Miles decided he, too, needed his diaper off. He actually sat on the potty a couple of times but of course nothing happened.

All day long I said the word potty more than I ever cared to. Bryan found potty songs on you tube, and we played them until I heard this:

I feel it, I feel it, I feel it. I know what to do when I have to poop. I go to the potty, pull my underwear down then I sit & wait sit & wait sit & wait till the poop plops down. Then I wipe & wipe till brown leaves town, put it in the toilet & flush it down. Bye, bye poop. Bye bye poop. Then I pull up my pants wash my hands wash my hands & do the potty dance (instumentla)) I DID IT !

I’m sorry, but till the brown leaves town? No. NO NO NO.

No.

I never realized how much time my kid spent sitting on the couch until I found myself hoping she wouldn’t pee on it. It was after the millionth “no pee on potty!” exclamation that I put a diaper back on her before I left town (ha).

Abby peed a total of three times during my experiment. The first time, it was turing the 2 minutes I spent cleaning up lunch, when Miles announced “Abby pee on floor!” The second time was during nap (diaper on, thank you), and the third time was in the high chair.

Clearly they  I am not ready for this.

Universe: 3        Me: 0

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