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Journey To the Finish Line

PR's, 4 children, hopes and dreams; I'm always running after something

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Flashback Finish This

Finish This – Flashback style (kinda)

Colorguard girls
Colorguard girls
If I went back to school, I would study… nursing, or physical therapy. I considered psychology/counseling for awhile in college as well. I like my career though and have no interest in going back to school at this point. 
My favorite subject in school… if this doesn’t scream nerd then I’m not sure what does, but my favorite subjects were music (band and choir – I didn’t like orchestra much at the time but I appreciate the experience now). Academic wise, probably English. 
I look pretty much the same
I look pretty much the same

I wish I had paid attention…. when people suggested I take home ec. I still can’t don’t cook, and don’t even know how to sew on a button. Not joking.

The dumbest thing I did in high school was… nothing. No lie. Yes, I was THAT much of a goody two shoes. I was always home by curfew, didn’t drink (heck I was secretary of SADD), and always played by the rules. I never even toilet papered a house. And no, I’m not just saying that because my parents read my blog. Just in case you were wondering. Honestly, I’d say the dumbest thing were things I didnt do, like audition for a play (yes, nerd) because I was afraid to fail (and precisely why I auditioned for a play in 2008).
In high school, I thought a bad grade was life alteringly bad. Just in case the fact that the dumbest thing I did was nothing didn’t hone in on my goody goody-ness, then this probably will seal the deal.
Senior prom at its best
Senior prom at its best

Join in the fun and “Finish This,” by finishing the above prompts and linking up your post with the hosts of this party: Nicole {Three 31} Lisa {Coastlined}, and Becky {The Java Mama}.

2012 Recap

Using the same format I used in 2011, a recap of 2012:
1. What did you do in 2012 that you’d never done before?
2. Did you keep your new year’s resolutions, and will you make more for next year?

2012
  • Get pregnant! (darn it!) – WOO HOO!
  • PR 2 more race distances- even though I didn’t run the last 4 months of the year I still managed to pull this one off! – WOO HOO
  • Live more in the present – the jury is still out on this one
  • Take a vacation – took a mini vacation to St. Augustine – not sure if this counts.
  • Find a church- didn’t happen

2013

  • Run a half marathon distance (or race) before the end of the year (after taking 10 months off, not sure how long this goal will take to achieve!)
  • Live more in the present – I’m keeping this one with the babies coming – if I need this one I need it now more than ever as I am sure they will grow like weeds and one day I’ll wake up and wonder where the time went
  • Be the best mom I can be
  • Be flexible
3. Did anyone close to you give birth?
  • Jenny gave birth to Landon in the fall
  • Megan S. had Harper this summer
  • Jenna had Nolan in the fall
  • Tiffany is due in a few weeks (again not in 2012 but close enough)
  • Megan H. had Lucas early this year
4. Did anyone close to you die?
5. What countries did you visit?
  • Does Ohio count? Because its a really long drive.
6. What would you like to have in 2013 that you lacked in 2012?
  • Job stability
7. What dates from 2011 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?
  • January 14 – crossed the finish line of my second marathon. My favorite picture of this year was taken that day
    • me-kim-audri
    • February 20 – Bryan burns himself making fried chicken.  A trip to the VA ER is made.
    • March 11 – I learn that I have been running incorrectly – for the last 10 years. I spent the better part of the next few months trying to fix this
    • May 8 (ish) – Natalie graduates from college and we have a super fun weekend with contact paper in the process. We take pictures showing our immense maturity.faces
    • May 12( ish) – I decide to let go a little. We build a fence. We buy a new washer and dryer. We replace the downstairs floor.
    • Memorial Day – Rachel gets married. I get to be in the wedding. YAYme-and-rachel
    • July 12 – Our IUI cycle is canceled.I AM PISSED.
    • July 28 – I get my second tattoo
    • August 1 – I begin BC pills for the IVF
    • August 19- my 30th birthday. I attempted to make it big by skydiving, but it got canceled. Twice. I play a long weekend of softball tournament instead. We win. 🙂
    • September 18 – my first ever positive pregnancy test
    • October 4- we learn that both eggs stuck – we are having twins!
    • December 14 – we learn that Bubbles and Squishy are a girl and a boy!
    • December 25 – we publicly announce the boy and girl news
8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?
  • Finishing the marathon. Even though I’ve done this once, training sucks so much out of you that I consider both a huge accomplishment
  • Finally letting go a little (see above)
  • WOO HOO we’re pregnant!
9. What was your biggest failure?
  • Spending over half the year worrying and stressing about getting pregnant. I’m not even sure how much time I wished and stressed away. (unfortunately this still holds true from the year before – though I think I did better overall this year)
10. Did you suffer illness or injury?
  • Other than the standard infertility and allergies, not really.
11. What was the best thing you bought?
  • New floors!!
12. Where did most of your money go?
  • Mortgage and bills, IVF
13. What did you get really excited about?

  • Running races, pregnancy
14. What song will always remind you of 2012
  • songs remind me more of events than years. So I guess maybe Titanium.
15. Compared to this time last year, are you:

  • – happier or sadder? happier!
  • – thinner or fatter?  HA Fatter!
  • – richer or poorer? About the same
16. What do you wish you’d done more of?
  • Vacations – mini or otherwise
17. What do you wish you’d done less of?
  • Stress about money – everything turned out to be fine
18. How did you spend Christmas?
  •  Went to Ohio to visit my mom, dad, sister, grandfather and aunt. It may very well be his last Christmas this year. 😦
19. What was your favorite TV program?
  • Modern Family
  • Dexter
  • Sister Wives
  • Breaking Amish
20. What were your favorite books of the year?

  • 50 Shades of Grey ( I know, I know ). I was lame and did not read much this year.
21. What was your favorite music from this year?

  • The new Muse album
  • Maroon 5 – One More Night
  • Ace of Base – I resurrected this one
  • Bruno Mars – Locked out of Heaven
  • Titanium – David Guetta
22. What were your favorite films of the year?
  • The Hunger Games
  • Flight
  • Seeking a Friend for the End of the World
23. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?
  • The big 30! I was supposed to go skydiving with a friend, but it was canceled due to weather. We ended up having dinner where B and I got engaged with a few friend who could make it last minute, and spent a night downtown.
24. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?
  • You know…..nothing.
25. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2012?

  • I so don’t care. I just buy what I think is cute. And on sale. Bonus if its both.
26. What kept you sane?

  • My husband
  • My friends
  • Reading
  • Running
  • Blogging
27. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2012.
  • Expect the unexpected. Sometimes there just isn’t a good reason why things happen. In the end, though, I think it all turns out ok. At least it better.

Sing the Songs of the Piano (Wo)man

In third grade, my parents enrolled me in piano lessons.

I hated piano lessons.

Though mostly I think it was my piano teacher I didn’t like. She didn’t like me much either. And in her defense, even at the tender age of 9 (or however old I was at the time), I could still be a sarcastic snot.

I know, you’re shocked too, right?

I don’t remember if I made this up in my head or if this actually happened (I think it did) but I recall being told, quite often, that I’d appreciate it one day. The older I got and the more of a teenager I become, the more I thought that was, like, the stupidest.thing.ever. All while responding in a know it all attitude and wondering why the hell adults thought they were so smart because CLEARLY they were not. DUH.

Sometime after 5th grade I started taking violin lessons. I don’t think I complained about those as much because my teacher was at least cool, and I was in an orchestra with my best friend which made all of that more bearable. However, I didn’t practice much, and by high school I wanted to quit. I feel like my parents wouldn’t let me (because they are, you know, SO unfair) but I may be remembering that incorrectly. There is also a good chance that the Type A personality in me stuck it out so I could get the letter for participating for all four years of high school. (I did quit once I went to college though….because even though I was pretty good, I never practiced so I wasn’t good enough for college level – makes me wonder how I could have done if I had). By the time I hit 11th grade, I was in choir, too. And marching band. And winterguard.

In case you’re wondering what winterguard is, watch the video above. You can see me at 1:18 (top right corner), 1:36 and 2:14, 2:42, 2:58 (doing the splits – so can’t do that anymore). You get the idea. I was 21 in that video. I’m 29 today, and look EXACTLY THE SAME.

Anyway, by college (aside from winterguard) I had pretty much dropped out of the active music scene, though I briefly considered music therapy as a major my freshman year. Even though I had been performing in one way or another forever, it was almost always in a group setting, and I was deathly afraid of playing or singing on my own. It still had a presence in my life, of course. I almost always have music when running and I listened to A LOT of music through all of my insecurities in high school and college. It was, in a way, a type of therapy.

In 2004 I married and moved to Charleston. I took a year off between undergrad and grad school and worked as an office assistant and then a nanny/babysitter. In 2005 I started grad school and graduated in 2007. I worked for a nursing home for a year when my husband and I were moved to Germany (Air Force). I spent 6 weeks there and came back home, and was divorced in 2009. (That’s the exceedingly short and non drama filled version). After returning I decided I wanted to get back into music again, and oddly found myself missing singing the most.

I love to sing.

I try to limit myself to rehearsals and singing along to songs in the car, because quite honestly while I can hold a tune I’ m nowhere near phenomenal and no one needs to hear me belting out Adele two twenty times in my car on the way home from work. (I sound just like her in my head.) Bryan and I are also known to make up stupid songs about the dogs that are possibly definitely only funny to us. Sometimes I’ll change the lyrics to other songs to make them fit with whatever I’m thinking ( i.e. I am a worrier to the tune of I am a warrior )Oh, and I know and find myself singing along to the lyrics of every.single.”song” on the toys I use for work that then get stuck in my head for hours. (Come fly with me and you will see what goes up in the sky-y *tweet tweet*- A bird!….aaahhh stop the madness).

Through the magic of google I found a local singing group, The Singers of Summerville (I’m in the picture, in front, 3rd in from the left. Also, I look like crap), sucked up my nerves and auditioned in 2010. I’ll never forget that audition, because I hadn’t sung formally or read music in 10 years and offered “I’m a little rusty”. The director, after listening to my horrible attempt at sight reading, agreed “yeah, you are a little rusty”, but so kindly agreed to let me join anyway.

I write about running frequently as a sanity saver, but have never really given music the appreciation it deserves (that and softball – yes, I’m always involved in a million extracurricular activities). This next concert music in particular has struck a chord (HAHA!) with me, possibly because since I’ve lessened the running quite a bit I’ve paid  more attention, possibly because I’ve gotten to know everyone better, possibly because I really like the music. A good pianist is fantastic, a good violinist phenomenal (the violin is a difficult instrument), but when a group of voices blend together in just the right way, the effect is indescribable. Only a notch below finishing a marathon. (And without months of physical exercise!) For 2 hours a week I can forget about infertility,money, the fact that my dog pooped on the rug again. (GEEZ!) I can let go of my constant worry, and the fact that Bryan put the silverware away:

To make a short story VERY long…..I probably wouldn’t have this if it weren’t for those piano lessons.

I’m about to do something BIG here.

*ahem*. Mom, dad, and everyone else who told me I’d appreciate it one day.

You were right.

Thanks.

Don’t Let Me Write a Love Song

I’ve always been an avid music lover.

I started taking piano lessons at a young age, and violin lessons in 5th grade. In high school, I was in choir, marching band, and orchestra. I played in the pit orchestra for music theatre (also in high school). I still sing in a community choir and play Fur Elise when I can get my hands on a piano.

I love music because it can represent and express a wide range of emotions. From sadness and depression to joy, to confusion, to anger to laughter. It’s comforted me during hard times in my life and I’ve belted out the best of the love ballads, rock songs and Top 40 hits in my car and while cleaning the house. It helps me get through runs and organize my thoughts while writing the more difficult blogs.

Music rocks. (pun intended)

There isn’t much else to do in your car while driving 11 hours through the night but listen to music. Bryan was in the drivers seat and so had the controls of the radio. Luckily, we have similar taste in music so I wasn’t forced to listen to Country Music Radio (sorry Country lovers) when I was actually awake. For awhile, he was tuned to a R &B station.

Rap, while not my least favorite, is not my favorite either. Mostly because I can’t understand a darn word the guys are saying. This one particular song I remember had this weird background sound that reminded me of a squeaky shoe or dog toy. The sad part was, I could see where it could be a decent running song, but since I couldn’t understand a word and am pretty sure I’m not going to turn up a result using a search: “rap song squeaky shoe sound”, I guess I’ll have to leave that one to memory.

Then Bryan starts to laugh. What is so funny? Apparently either the song said or he interpreted the following line: “She’s so cool she gives head with her shades on”

I guess we are measuring cool differently these days. Or we are totally misinterpreting the lyrics. Like that commercial where the guy is singing “Pour Some Sugar On Me” but actually sings “Shook up Ramen” so he calls the librarian to look up the lyrics. (Thankfully we have Google for that now)

I personally enjoy an interesting mix of music. I tend to listen to alot of Top 40 type songs because they tend to have fast paces for running. Once I decide I like a song, I can play it over and over again. Oddly, most of my favorite songs I picked out because of the background music. Adele’s “Set Fire to the Rain” is a good example. I decided I liked the lyrics after the background music. I enjoy Adele  because her lyrics have meaning beyond giving head with shades on.

Some songs just crack me up. Take “I’m Sexy and I Know It” for instance. I actually thought it was serious for awhile until someone told me about the music video. Then it just became funny. Another thing I like to do is take song lyrics and mess with them. Last night in the wee hours of the morning in the car, I made my own version.

Girl look at that body

Girl look at that body

Girl look at that body

I eat out

When I walk in McDonalds

This is what I see

Everybody stops and stares at me

I got a fat roll in my pants and I aint afraid to show it (show it, show it)

I’m a fatty and I know it

Eat your heart out, Weird Al.

Then there are the love songs. If you really listen to the lyrics of some of them it tends to point to an unhealthy relationship. I really like Bruno Mars’ new song “It Will Rain”, (which by the way, we heard 6 times on the trip) and Ill totally blast it out along to the radio, but the idea of sunlight and blue sky being dependent on the presence of another person is  bit scary. (I say this knowing that losing someone can feel akin to that….I’m just reading it more literally for comedic value). Don’t get me wrong, I love the song, and I’m betting that my version won’t hit the Top 40 charts anytime soon:

If you ever leave me baby

I’ll wave goodbye from my front door

Cuz even though I want you I don’t need you

Even though I’ll be sad I don’t have you anymore

I guess his lyrics are a bit more heartfelt and effective.

No, I won’t be quitting my day job anytime soon.

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