Journey To the Finish Line

PR's, 4 children, hopes and dreams; I'm always running after something


3rd trimester

Nearing the Finish Line

When I first started this blog I sat for a long time trying to figure out an appropriate name, particularly because the point was to blog both about the marathon I was training for and the long road down infertility lane.

A race ends when you cross the finish line.  Our journey through the murkiness of infertility would be over when we crossed the finish line: bringing home a baby. Over the years I’ve learned that neither is quite that simple. Yes,  a race is over when  you cross the finish line but there is always more to learn and do to do better on the next one. Similarly, there is no real finish line to infertility – baby in the end or not. It’s something that stays with you always.

Four days – almost exactly- from now, we will meet our babies. The ones that, from start to finish, we have waited almost 4 years to meet. It feels very surreal. It also means the end, or the finish line, of the pregnancy – something I’ve found I have very mixed feelings about.

Finding out we were expecting twins I went into this knowing there is a good chance this will be my only pregnancy and in a way this makes me sad. Perhaps later down the road we will decide to try again, but for now two seems a good number and I in no way shape or form desire going through the ups and downs of the treatment process again – available frozen embryos or not. I actually think I’d like to donate them, but that’s a topic for another day.

My pregnancy, particularly for a twin pregnancy has been…..well….pretty easy. Aside from the few partially self induced scares surrounding all the Braxton Hicks contractions, it has been pretty free of complications and all in all mild discomfort. This isn’t to say I’ve enjoyed EVERY second, for example:

I won’t miss purchasing witch hazel wipes and other related products. Though I did feel less embarrassed about it given the belly.

I won’t miss taking a daily pill to keep me from vomiting thanks to reflux, and I won’t miss having to drink Miralax every morning to keep my digestive system moving.

I won’t miss hitting everything with my stomach. Well maybe a little – because it is kinda funny.

I won’t miss not being able to find a comfortable position to sleep in for more than 30-60 minutes. Though my sleep is soon to be interrupted for a totally different reason.

I won’t miss not being able to exercise.

I say that knowing that many of you out there might be reading this and thinking you’d give your left foot for vomit and an inability to sleep. I get that because I’ve thought it too. I want it to be understood that this list is not meant as a list of complaints. I always have and continue to feel amazed and blessed that I was able to experience it at all. Heck I may even find that I DO miss it a little. I’m just saying that I’m sorry but NO journey comes without some discomfort, regardless of what it is.

I’m pretty sure though, that when I think back on this pregnancy I won’t be thinking of the above list much anyway. I’ll be thinking of all the belly dance parties, watching it grow while wondering how it could possibly get any bigger (and it always did), the ultrasounds to check growth, hearing the heartbeats. I’ll be thinking about all the compliments I’ve received about how cute I look and how I don’t look pregnant from behind. I’ll be thinking about Bryan talking to my belly at night before bedtime telling the babies how excited he is to meet them. I’ll be thinking about the weekly pictures we took, the beautiful maternity photos, the fabulous baby showers and sharing the news, story and journey with everyone along the way.

I am very excited to meet these babies in 4 days, but a part of me will grieve the end of the pregnancy a little. I’m determined to enjoy these last 4 days as a human incubator (albeit a huge one) as much as possible. To stop and really feel when they move, take a few more pictures, eat a few more desserts. Like nearing the end of the marathon where the finish line is starting to come into view I feel simultaneously excited and sad. Excited to see the finish because it means all the determination paid off….and because everything hurts. Sad because its the end of another journey.

It is bittersweet. With races I sometimes look at the medals and remember them fondly. The same to be with pictures and memories of this pregnancy. The good thing, though, is that in both cases – there is still so much more to come. This journey may be ending, but a new one is about to begin.

A Big Milestone (28 weeks)

The Good

  • Phew, we have made it to 28 weeks. Babies born at this stage have a 90-95% chance of survival and lungs are much better developed at this point. I feel like I can breathe a bit easier. But, please keep cooking babies!
  • We are in the third trimester!
  • We had a growth scan last week Friday – both babies are growing. Miles is weighing in at 2 lb 7oz and Abby at 2lb 2oz. She is on the lower end of the average range but still in it. We go back in 4 weeks for another growth scan. We also reached the point of the last cervical measurement. At this point the cervix is supposed to start shortening so checks will be limited to the OB’s office to make sure I’m not dilating. The good news is that per the doc my cervix is actually BETTER than usual for this point in my pregnancy and that is fabulous news.
  • Who needs tables when you have this?
    Its a bird! Its a plane! Its a belly chili bowl holder!
    Its a bird! Its a plane! Its a belly chili bowl holder!
    • Babies are moving all the time. Sometimes I watch my whole stomach ripple. I’m starting to feel body parts, though at this point they are still not identifiable….yet.
    • I’ve actually been sleeping better this week, though that might have something to do with more general fatigue.

    The “Bad”

  • Per the ultrasound tech, Abby’s head is resting directly on my bladder. Despite my complaints that she stop fluffing it, I am ignored. ‘Nuff said.
  • I am not quite ready to make friends with cankles. Yet there they are. If they persist I may break out names. I mean if you have to deal with it, might as well make it fun right?
  • Certain bathroom trips requiring the use of Witch Hazel wipes. I’ll let you figure out where that is going.

The Weird and Amusing

  • As obsessive as I am, I never thought there would come a time that not exercising wouldn’t drive me even a little crazy, but the fact of the matter is I’m too tired when I get home from work to walk anyway. Bring on the couch potato.
  • I am greatly underestimating the size of my belly when trying to navigate doorways/hallways/small spaces. Bonk.
  • My waist is measuring at a whopping 41″
  • Scatterbrain syndrome is getting worse
  • Wait, what was I saying?

New pic at Bubbles and Squishy.

Almost Third Trimester (27 weeks)

The Good

  • I’m not sure if the third trimester technically starts at 27 or 28 weeks since I’ve heard both so I’ll just err on the side of caution and say 28. However, carrying twins we won’t make it to 40 weeks so I could probably say I’m in the third at this point
  • First baby shower this weekend!!!
  • Next growth scan Friday – praying for healthy growing babies and a long and strong cervix!!
  • I felt my first case of fetal hiccups this week from both babies – Abby first then Miles a couple days later
  • Watching my belly move – so bizarre
  • Babies born at this point in time have about a 90% chance of survival. We’d like to avoid extended hospital stays though so lets keep em in there!

The “Bad”

  • Minor aches and pains are starting to kick in. If I sit too long I get a stiff back or minor achiness in the pubic area (like the bone, don’t get any weird ideas). So far nothing major though, thankfully.
  • Starting to get some back pain – again minor though
  • Energy? What’s energy? :). In all honesty I’m slowing down more each week but at this point can still function through a work day or a few errands – preferably not both. I used to kinda argue about putting my feet up when I get home for the evening, now I’m like couch please! Yes you can bring me my dinner and refill my water for me. What you can’t pee for me? Crap. I’m sad right now that no one is home and I have to get up to microwave my own frozen dinner. Tough life yes?
  • Braxton Hicks continue. Luckily no more attacks recently.

The Weird and Amusing

  • Tying shoes is getting more and more interesting
  • Sometimes the stiffness from sitting causes me to waddle for a few steps. It’s really cute.
  • I am officially completely in larger size underwear. Some of my shirts are starting to get tight. My husband still insists I look the same from behind. How cute he is. My ever growing butt appreciates it.
  • Today I misjudged how wide I needed to open a door at work and smacked my belly with it. Must remember: am not as skinny as before
  • Miss Abby I believe likes to sit on my bladder some days. It is not a pillow. It’s just not. Thank goodness no one has found my ribs….yet.

Updated pic at Bubbles and Squishy

Blog at

Up ↑

%d bloggers like this: