I’ve been trying to hang onto babyhood for a long as possible.

At just a few days shy of 14 months I decided to bite the bullet and ditch the one remaining nighttime bottle. The dishwasher was running and contained all of the bottles we had left that I hadn’t already given away, so I warmed up milk, threw it into a couple sippy cups, handed them to the twins and held my breath.

They didn’t give a damn.


They didn’t drink as much but didn’t so much bat an eye at the exchange of drink ware (now, if I had turned off Pocoyo, there would have been hell to pay, I am sure).

To be honest, even as early as when I found out we were having twins, I planned for them to be my only children. I never wanted to have more than two kids to start with. As time has gone on, my reasons for sticking with two have shifted slightly but my feeling that these two are it remain the same. Now that we are taking bigger and bigger steps away from babies I admit that I don’t immediately diminish the thought of another pregnancy and baby. I still feel like two is the best fit for us, if that makes sense, but the biggest battle I fight is that I, at least at this point in time, have absolutely ZERO interest in fighting infertility again. By far it was one of my most difficult battles and yes it was absolutely 100% worth it. But I don’t want to do it again.

So I’m hanging onto my babies.

While snuggling withe the twins Bryan and I talked about when to begin the pacifier battle. In a few days, I said, citing the reason that we shouldn’t change too much at one time but really thinking that I’d be ok with babies for a few more days.

I took them upstairs, placed them in their cribs, brushed their teeth, read a story, and then realized their pacifiers were nowhere to be found.

So I kissed them goodnight and left the room without returning with the highly coveted stuffed animal pacifiers.

I braced myself. I expected meltdowns. I expected full on pterydactl screaming.

They weren’t thrilled, but they weren’t screaming bloody murder, and after 30 minutes were sound asleep.

I’m now watching the monitor wondering where on earth the time went, flabbergasted by the fact that they apparently handle change better than I do (granted, its only the first night*) and am a little sad to lose my babies.

*After 45 minutes asleep we already have one waker and guess what he is currently doing? Oh well, one battle at a time.