I think most of us are familiar with this children’s song:

The more we get together
Together, together
The more we get together
The happier we’ll be
Cause your friends are my friends
And my friends are your friends
The more we get together 
The happier we’ll be

The more we play together
Together, together
The more we play together
The happier we’ll be
Cause your friends are my friends
And my friends are your friends
The more we play together 
The happier we’ll be

Except there is something to be said for alone time, too. (And I bet you totally have this song stuck in your head now)

Since the day the twins were born we’ve followed a (flexible) schedule. When one baby woke to feed I woke the other. I did this for two reasons: one, I couldn’t possibly keep track of two separate schedules (wait? when did Abby eat last?) even if I tried to write them down and two, (the selfish reason) because I knew I’d burn out quickly with no schedule and what would likely feel like round the clock feedings without any sleep. Even though they are fraternal twins it seems that, for the most part,  their rhythms have stayed in sync as they grow.  They wake together,   eat together, play together, take a bath together, walk together (well, I take them for a walk) and bedtime routine is together.

Last weekend their schedule differed a bit after Abby woke from a nap and Bryan went in to get her to find Miles still asleep. Since we just had their birthday pictures taken and they were still sticky from cake smashing, he gave her a bath. What we found so interesting was how relaxed she seemed, jabbering away to herself and the bath toys, able to spend some time playing alone. It isn’t as though she normally finds bath time with her brother stressful – they both love baths and typically are happy to play along side each other, but I’m sure it was also nice for her to not have to contend with Miles climbing over her in search of the letter “S” she just happens to have in her hand. It made me realize that we need to be more aware of their separateness and individual personalities. In real life and in my blog I often refer to them as “the babies” or “the twins”, and I think as infants this is ok, but as we enter toddlerhood need to be more mindful to try not to meld them together. After all, they are two completely different people.

Bryan and I have talked about bathing separately a couple times a week, and now that I am no longer breastfeeding it will be easier to do some separate excursions where I (or Bryan) only take one baby along (man what that must be like!). Maybe some nights we can do bedtimes stories separately.  Still, the older they get the more I wonder how to find the middle ground that hopefully exists somewhere between doing everything together and what having one child at a time is like. One of the more difficult aspects of twin parenting, I think, is how hard it is to REALLY focus on just one of them, because of the need to always keep an eye on the other.

One adventure simply evolves into another.

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