Way before I had any idea what infertility even was, I remember asking, or overhearing pregnant women being asked: do you want a boy or a girl?

Some stated preferences, but most replied “I just want a healthy baby”.

My naive brain couldn’t wrap my head around this. How could you not have a preference? Haven’t you been thinking about playing with your little dream boy or girl? Hair bows and tea parties. Soccer games and super heros.

I’ve been calmer this week. I’ve let my guard down a little. But today, a little more than 24 hours before our first ultrasound, I totally get it. My imagination hasn’t really been gender specific. While I’d be lying if I said that the thought of twins didn’t overwhelm me a little – all I want is appropriate growth and heartbeat(s). We will figure out the rest.

I just want a healthy baby. Or two, if that’s what’s in the cards.

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