At some point during the IVF process, someone really needs to sit down with you and say, in addition to the procedural and medicinal explanations that undergoing an IVF will do strange things to you. And the hormones may or may not be to blame. They also need to create some sort of IVF cycle friendly anti anxiety drug, and slip it into your progesterone. Seriously.
#1- IVF will make you get “The Crazy”. The crazy need to test early. With Bryan working out of town, we see each other 2-3 times a month. He was home for my egg retrieval but had to go right back, and is taking a work trip at the end of this month. So, we decided to meet halfway for a night. I then had the wonderful horrible thought that hey! if I take a test and its positive, I can tell him in person!! So, despite my resolve the night before and the fact that it was 4 solid days early, I took a test, telling myself that if it was negative, it was still early so no big deal.
Wrong.
It was negative, and it was a big deal. Which leads us to
#2 – “The Crazy” will make you more dramatic. Not flip out screaming and shouting at the universe kind of big deal, but enough to leave me bummed for several hours and at one point convince myself this meant it didn’t work. We still don’t know the outcome of this of course, but clearly testing 4 days early and getting a negative does NOT mean it didn’t work. But that didn’t stop me from:
#3 -“The Crazy” will make you obsessively Google stupid crap – I left late because I spent 30 minutes Google-ing stupid stuff like “how many days post transfer BFP IVF”, mentally taking count of the people who said they got theirs later than 5 days after transfer, and inwardly cursing those who saw it earlier. I might as well have Googled “is this going to work” because others’ outcomes will have ZERO effect on my own, however I still felt the need to compare. (I blame The Crazy)
#4 – “The Crazy” will make you obsess, period- Suddenly, I’m questioning whether I read all of the docs instructions correctly (I did), whether I was following all of them (I was), whether I was taking the right dosages at the right times (I was) and if I could have possibly done something to mess this up and cause a positive to not show up FOUR DAYS EARLY.
(Yes, Jeanette – I get it now.)
After a pedicure, some retail therapy, breakfast for dinner and and awesome shared dessert, I felt mostly normal. And while testing early was clearly not the best move on my part, it opened up some dialogue between Bryan and I and I left feeling much more peaceful about the whole thing – success or not. I think maybe I needed assurance that he was behind me and ok to move forward as long as it takes, if necessary. That isn’t to say that a negative blood test still won’t sting, but I have a plan now and it makes me feel better.
The kicker? I totally disregarded the early test after a positive failed to show up in, like, 30 seconds – which means I didn’t even wait out the full amount, and that my negative may or may not have actually been negative. But since I was being over dramatic (see #2) I assumed failure.
Still, there will be no more early testing for me. The night before at the earliest and I may just wait for my blood to be drawn.
Unless “The Crazy” gets to me again. (I totally think we should make a shirt that says something “I went through The Crazy and all I got was this lousy t-shirt.)
September 17, 2012 at 10:04 pm
Oh my! I totally get this! Now, when you say you disregarded the test after 30 seconds, did you ever look at it later? My first day of testing, I dismissed it after about 10 seconds, got into the shower and proceeded to mull over in my mind how I would EVER get through this failed cycle. Got out of the shower and turns out it wasn’t a negative after all…There is so little hcg early on, I think it can take a little bit longer to conglomerate on the test strip. Well, I am praying for you and HOPING for you over these next few days before beta!!! Sending you HUGE hugs and completely agree about some sort of calming medicine or anti-“The CRAZIES” medicine being added to the progesterone. : )
September 17, 2012 at 10:05 pm
Uh, yes. But it was literally 48 hours later, so I don’t think it counts.
September 17, 2012 at 10:04 pm
Hang in there. I know this means jack coming from an Internet stranger, but I have a good feeling for you.
Also – I now POAS the morning before my blood test. One time I was convinced that an IUI had worked when it didn’t, and getting that call at work effed up my whole afternoon, to say the least.
September 17, 2012 at 10:07 pm
No it means a lot, really!
And yeah, I think that’s a smart idea. Will I wait? Maybe. I’m almost there…
September 17, 2012 at 11:02 pm
If you made those shirt’s, I would buy stock in them.
I’ve totally done all of this and I’ll one up you with a checking the test in 3 different types of lighting just to make sure that it was in fact negative and I wasn’t making up the faintest of positives that wasn’t actually there.
September 18, 2012 at 3:18 am
I’ve done it before, but I was too affected by The Crazy #2 this time. Lol 🙂 ( I’m only half kidding about the shirt idea)
September 17, 2012 at 11:14 pm
Ohhhh sweetie! I would have done the same thing. And with no extra crazy than I already have!
September 18, 2012 at 3:17 am
Haha that’s actually a relief!!
September 18, 2012 at 11:55 am
Good!!! I’m glad. 🙂
September 17, 2012 at 11:35 pm
I don’t want to send you back to crazy town, and I’m sorry you had to go there, but can you dig it out of the trash?! It takes a bit to show up in the early days! I hope this is it for you!
September 18, 2012 at 3:16 am
One step ahead of you ( which I’m sure I’ll post about later ) , sadly , but I’m pretty sure anything read after 48 hours is invalid. Lol
September 17, 2012 at 11:44 pm
I try never to test early. I did for the first time last month and that negative test drove me nuts and made me so sad when I actually wasn’t out for the count yet. (I still wasn’t pregnant, but I had no reason to be worrying about it so early, at just 9dpo.) I’m so sorry for The Crazies that you are having to endure. In the end, though, I bet it will be all worth it for you. Fingers crossed!
September 18, 2012 at 3:19 am
Yeah I’m trying not to make that mistake again Lol.
September 18, 2012 at 1:50 am
I love you!!! :p Still plenty of time to get a positive and Im still rooting for bubbles and squishy!
You really do go through a mindfuck of amazing proportions and all the hormones dont help.
Retail therapy? What did you buy? (me) 🙂
Fingers and still crossed
September 18, 2012 at 4:37 am
Oh the crazy of the two week wait, welcome to the real deal 🙂 Joking aside, I truly hope it was just a bit early. Still rooting for you and your embabies.
September 18, 2012 at 5:04 am
As I had got AF 5 days before my OTD I emailed my named nurse to let her know, like it says in the paperwork. She replied saying “whilst red blood is not a good sign, you must still take the test on Thursday as you may still be pregnant”. Cue me POAS, even though I’m on my f’ing period. BFN still – obviously! Now THAT is crazy!!! X
September 18, 2012 at 5:56 am
Oy. Agreed.
September 18, 2012 at 7:31 am
1000% I was crazy this entire infertility journey!!! Did you test again? When is your beta?
September 18, 2012 at 9:22 am
Sign me up for one of those shirts!!! Keeping my fingers crossed for you!
September 18, 2012 at 12:01 pm
Order me up one of those shirts! 🙂