It was a normal Saturday morning where I wake up, shower, and drive to the fertility clinic for another follicle check.

Well it seems normal lately anyway.

After visiting the vampires (albeit very nice and practically painless so kudos to them), it was time for another date with Bob, the ultrasound wand. I told him mentally that he had better find some good follicles or I was going to kick his butt out the door once and for all. I think I scared him.

I’m the type to bring books with me to places. If I have to wait, I like to have something to do. Sometimes it comes in handy at the clinic when they are particularly busy, but given that it was a Saturday morning I figured there would be a minimal wait to be seen. I was right about that, however what I did NOT anticipate was how seriously Bob would take my breakup threat.

So I’m laying in one of the most awkward positions a person can find herself in and  I’m waiting.

And waiting….waiting…

I hear click click….click click….shift Bob….click click….click click….

Me: Man, I must have a lot going on in there

Tech: Yup

Click click….click click…. shift.

I should also add I’m kinda bad with silence, particularly awkward silence. And while not much about this whole situation is truly awkward anymore, there is just something about laying half naked and spread eagle that makes you want to engage in silly small talk to distract yourself that you’re laying half naked on a table in the first place.

Me: so….how many are there?

Tech: a lot

Me: ok…so how many larger ones are there?

Tech: a lot

Me: ok….well I guess that’s a good thing

Tech: yes, definitely beats not being able to find any (now I have to give her some credit -she was very nice, and simply just trying to concentrate). Do you feel any discomfort?

Me: there are definitely times when I feel some achiness but overall it hasn’t been too bad. But given how long this is taking I’m surprised I’m not more uncomfortable.

Tech: me too.

Cue short conversation about acupuncture

Silence….click click… click….picture prints….

Me: I guess I should have brought a book

Tech: They are gonna think I kidnapped you in here

Me: (whispers) Oh my gosh, put the knife away!

Tech: just don’t start screaming or you’ll have everyone running in here to see what’s wrong

Me: now THAT would be awkward

At the end I didn’t even end up with a true follicle count, but apparently I have ” a lot”.  And unfortunately my estrogen is high at 3,000 so after tomorrows’ check I’m going to be getting instructions on a high salt diet and a script for a med to help avoid hyperstimulation. One more lowered dose of stim meds tonight and will hopefully be triggering tomorrow and harvesting (my friends word – I like it better than retrieval) on Tuesday.

As I was getting ready to leave my nurse was giving me some instructions and told me to return tomorrow “and just bring your ovaries and your coffee!”