I start stabbing myself on a daily basis tomorrow morning.

Be jealous.

People say when you’re TTC and not having any luck to do things you enjoy, things you can do without children, cross things off of your “bucket list”. While I loved the movie, I’ve never been much of a bucket list type. Besides, as I’ve told hubby, the only “must do” thing I’d have left on mine right now (at the ripe old age of 29 – hey, I’m not 30 for 6 more days) is to have children. Sure, I’d like to travel, but if I didn’t I wouldn’t regret it that much. Sure. I’d like to skydive, but I’d rather have children. That is most important.

I suddenly feel in a rush to do things before I start stims. Not only because I might not be able to do them once pregnant if it does work, but so I can have something to look back to in this process that I enjoyed if it doesn’t. I don’t want to look back on my 30th birthday and think of it as my “failed IVF cycle” birthday. That would suck.

My tattoo started me off a couple weeks ago. Here is what I have planned/hope to have planned for myself in the next few weeks:

(I kinda stole this from Idiotic Infertilty…..)

  • Get another tattoo
  • Get hair highlighted – Thursday!
  • Try Acupuncture – Friday,Β  thanks to my friend at work who got me a gift certificate for three sessions!
  • Touch up tattoo
  • Get a massage
  • Enjoy a couple good glasses of wine
  • Enjoy a ridiculously rich dessert – eat it all if I want to
  • Get a manicure/pedicure
  • Run a long run – 8 miles this past Saturday
  • Run one more race – 5k August 25th (day I start stims, but since I take them at night I can squeeze it in!)
  • Skydive!! – On my birthday!!!

At the very least, I have things to look forward to that don’t have anything to do with infertility or IVF that I can use to remind myself that I am in fact a fairly normal person.

Bring on the skydive!!

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