What do you want for your birthday?

(Does anyone else have the issue where you’ll be idly shopping and can find about 20 things that would make cool birthday gifts, but when someone asks you are suddenly stupefied and unable to respond? Just want to make sure it isn’t just me)

Life can be ironic sometimes. A year ago, we were faced with the reality that IVF was likely the only way we could have children. Then, shortly before my birthday, hubby found out the VA was going to supply him with hormone replacement therapy to help us out. Put IVF off. A few months in we had a better sperm count but still not enough to help out much naturally. Just as we had decided to move forward with IVF, the doc decided to add in another hormone, so we put plans off again. Miraculously it worked, we were back up to normal, went with the flow (after much deliberating), changed plans and promptly received yet another fertility related kick in the balls.

Last years news did result in a fantastically awesome birthday party though.

In 30 days I will turn 30. In a bit less time we hit the mark of year 3. I will be 30 and I will not yet have children. I will be 30 and I will not be pregnant. (I realize there are many of you out there over 30 and in my situation) Though it is not at all what I had imagined for myself, I have (mostly) accepted it.

The IUI cancelation thanks to ol’ righty and it’s best friend Phil(opian) tube brought up quite a few questions about whether this blockage could be fixed. Just like last year I’m finding myself wondering what is the best path to take.

We could opt for a fallopian tube recanalization, an outpatient (I think) procedure that could open the blocked tube. I HAVE heard success stories from people who have had this procedure done. It’s been suggested I could get another HSG (dye is injected into your tubes to check to see if they are clear) done to actually confirm the blockage, because sometimes what looks like blockage actually turns out to be a spasm caused by injecting the dye. Statistically, though (and anyone please correct me if I’m wrong) the odds are not in my favor. Typically the procedure to open the tubes works, but more often than not it will eventually close again. In a couple of studies I have read, about 55% got pregnant after this procedure, but only half of that 55% did so within a year. Even if we were to do this procedure and couple it with an IUI, my chances are still no more than 20-25%.

I’m still young, I get that. I still have time to wait, I get that too. Last year I begrudgingly opted for the chance. This year, I want to opt for the statistics. We are now two people who are functioning mostly correctly. We have enough sperm. I ovulate on my own. I have one blocked tube and mild PCOS. Other couples like us could probably get pregnant without help. We haven’t. We could wait, we could always have an excuse to wait, we could wait forever hoping for some kind of miracle.

Maybe its crazy to not try everything else first.

There will always be something that needs fixing, a debt to pay, another reason to wait.

What do you want for your birthday?

I want the best chance.