Despite discovering that the IUI cycle was going to be a wash, the doc who performed my ultrasound recommended giving myself the HCG injection to induce ovulation and simply try to the old fashioned way.
I’m pretty sure I gave him a blank stare.
Then I said, “but I’m going to ovulate on the blocked side” (um, duh)
Apparently, it is possible (somehow) for the egg on my right ovary to make its way over to the left side (how this happens, I have NO idea). So hubby and I carried out our duty for humanity while he was home this weekend so we could have a snowballs chance in hell of getting pregnant.
I figure that it seems safe to say that the chances of me getting pregnant this cycle are roughly the same as winning the Mega Million Lottery. The odds of winning the Mega Million Lottery are 1 in 176 million. So just for fun, lets see some of the things that I have better odds of experiencing than a pregnancy this cycle: (info credit 1) (info credit 2)
1. Death by Vending Machine – as in the vending machine crushing me. You bet I’ll be eye balling the next vending machine I walk by, challenging its ulterior motive. (seal my Doritos and DIE woman!)
2. Dying in an airline related terrorist attack. Anyone up for a trip to Hawaii?
3. Having identical quadruplets – yeah.
4. Becoming president – I wonder if this changes if it were to be becoming the first woman president.
5. Dying from being left handed – watch out, dad.
6. Becoming a movie star – American Idol, here I come!!!
7. Death by flesh eating bacteria – maybe I should stop with the Zombie Chases.
8. Dying in an asteroid apocalypse – I’m just looking for…..um…..stars….
9. Death by legal execution – yes, really.
And my personal favorite:
10. Death by ignition or melting of “nightwear” (read, underwear) (info credit)
So basically, I bet I have a better chance of dying from flaming underwear while I happen to be infected with a flesh eating bacteria while on my runaway “avoiding legal execution” excursion to Hollywood to begin my singing career that just happens to have a terrorist on board than I do at becoming pregnant this cycle. And if I happen to make it off the plane and haven’t yet died from my flaming undergarments or flesh eating bacteria, then the M and M’s I decide to get at the airport will certainly be the death of me, as the vending machine takes a nose dive and crushes my skull.
(Now, who’s lining up for a lottery ticket?)
July 17, 2012 at 9:25 pm
Who knew such things were possible? I would have been dumbfounded by his suggestion as well!!! Maybe it’s a good thing to have such an optimistic doctor. But, I guess you had better watch out for melting nightwear in the meantime! ; ) Love that one.
July 17, 2012 at 9:54 pm
I’ll be sure to report if my underwear begins to melt 🙂
July 17, 2012 at 9:45 pm
You are delightfully hilarious. And yes, (temporarily) unlucky. Grrrr…
July 17, 2012 at 10:03 pm
I think your odds deteriorate with a female US president. Best to leave the gender out of it. We don’t need to exacerbate the situation.
July 17, 2012 at 10:06 pm
Good point 🙂
July 17, 2012 at 10:56 pm
You can DIE from being left-handed? Whaaaaa?!? I better go console my lefty Hubs!
This post cracked me up. Sometimes a little humor can go a long way. 🙂
July 18, 2012 at 6:42 am
it helps me maintain my sanity
July 17, 2012 at 11:07 pm
So what you’re saying is that if you get pregnant this month it could likely turn out to be identical quadruplets? I hope you and your husband at least had fun doing your part for humanity 🙂
July 18, 2012 at 6:43 am
we did, I suppose that counts for something
July 18, 2012 at 12:13 am
I find that even a snowball’s chance is better than none at all. I’ve actually heard of that tube-hopping trick–maybe it’ll work for you. But if not, at least you can laugh about it. 🙂
July 18, 2012 at 6:43 am
it’ll be more funny when I am pregnant, but yes, the idea that its more likely to die from flaming underwear (if I’m using the lottery metaphor) IS pretty funny!
July 18, 2012 at 5:51 am
Oy, the things we don’t know! Heard about the follicle changing side as well but I’m like you, wouldn’t believe it really. Hope it proves us wrong though, even if the chances are the same as dying from melting underwear! Seriously.
July 18, 2012 at 6:44 am
actually, if you use the lottery metaphor, the chances of dying from flaming underwear are actually BETTER
July 18, 2012 at 1:10 pm
While I am sorry that you are in this position this cycle, I am also highly amused by your framing of the situation. Any blog post that seriously references statistical possibilities of dying from spontaneously combusting underpants ranks up there with the best blog posts of all time. Hugs to you!
July 18, 2012 at 7:30 pm
sweet! That’s an awesome compliment! Thanks!
July 18, 2012 at 2:44 pm
You are hysterical. Thanks for making me laugh! I know that humor will get you through this all. I love the idea of tube hopping eggs. How fun does that sound? And can you imagine having identical quadruplets? Wow. But then you’d get a TV show on TLC, and that could be really fun.
July 18, 2012 at 7:32 pm
good gracious – even after all this infertility nonsense I still think quadruplets would make me nuts. I’m thinking more bad Lifetime movie 🙂
July 18, 2012 at 7:49 pm
Oh hun… I’m so sorry that this cycle hasn’t worked out as planned… hope those eggs make it across and your miracle is on it’s way. Love your sense of humor… never thought about those kind of events before… certainly hope none of them happen !! Love always xoxo
July 18, 2012 at 8:28 pm
1. youre funnier than hell!
2. eggs dont er migrate ovaries so your dr is a freaking moron.
3. I’m sorry this has happened and even though you say its partially your fault I disagree who are the freaking idiots that thought this was a good idea to begin with?
4. Therefore I am outraged on your behalf.
July 18, 2012 at 9:03 pm
1. Thank you
2. I thought the concept was retarded also, however, he is not the first person to say its possible. What I’m wondering is more likely in these cases is that there is actually a small enough hole in the blockage to allow the egg to go through.
2.5. In my doc’s defense, it was a different doc that told me that
3. I asked if we could try an IUI cycle and they said yes. I AM annoyed that I wasn’t informed this could happen. I might have made a different decision.
4. I appreciate it.
July 18, 2012 at 11:08 pm
whoa whoa whoa!!!! i had no idea an egg can migrate over there! thanks for sharing all of the unlikely events you have a better shot at than getting pregnant. this made me smile and i needed that. i’m so sorry you got over the issue of the swimmers only to have this happen. xoxo