A good friend of mine got married this weekend.
Without getting into too much detail about her personal life (because that’s her story to tell, not mine), as I said to her once “you’ve been through a lot of crap to get to this point”. But through all of the crap she found her happy ending, and in the time she has been with this man she’s been the happiest I’ve seen her.
As someone who sometimes lacks the ability to be truly happy for another person while wrapped up in this infertility misery (and I don’t mean that I am not happy for them, I’m talking about the “I think I’m more excited about this than you are” kind of happy), her celebration and my self imposed break from stressing came at the right time.
She tripped over many relationship rocks, but always managed to steady herself, and at the end she found the person she tripped over all of those rocks for. The one that made the wait worthwhile. I felt lucky to be able to be a part of this journey, and of course the wedding was fabulous.
Ready to be a maid of the bride
Sharing some of the love
Bryan and I had a blast dancing like maniacs and our silliness carried over to the car ride home where we made up fake lyrics to real songs. The backstory on this one was that we passed a couple of girls eating Frostie’s on the way home.
To the Tune of “Total Eclipse of the Heart”
Once upon a time I had a frosty in here
And now its just a straw in a cup
Dunno what I did
I must have just sucked it all up
I was warned to give credit where credit is due : Bryan made up the second line.
And in response to a “DUI Crackdown” sign on the freeway – to the tune of “The Final Countdown”
It’s a DUI Crackdown
Wee ooo Wee oooo
Wee ooo Weee ooo Weee
(like police sirens)
We are 29 and 35 with a combined age of 12.
Anyway, what prompted me to write this post was at one point during the reception, I overheard a family member say that my friend had said something to the effect of (I’m paraphrasing here) “I’ve been in love with him my whole life, I just had to wait for him”. While it was a rocky road to get there, he was worth the wait.
It dawned on me then that this is much like what the infertility journey is about. It’s a long, drawn out, rocky and painful wait. Like failed relationships you get your hopes up that this is the one and when it isn’t it’s a hard thing to recover from. Sometimes you feel like giving up. Sometimes you wonder if it’s meant to be at all. She watched friends marry just as I have watched friends have children wondering if your number will ever be pulled, if you will be the last one in your circle, trying to fit awkwardly into the conversations about relationships and children. It’s a lonely feeling.
But she waited, and she found him. He was the right one.
My biggest congratulations, my friend. You deserve it. And I couldn’t be happier for you.
I still hope to not have to the be the last, awkward one trying to voice my opinions about things I haven’t yet experienced regarding child rearing, but I know that one day it will be my turn. Many people say that the child chooses us.
It will be worth the wait.
It will be the right one.