Week 11 – 18 miles.

I was browsing Pinterest this morning before my run and found this gem again:

Just insert running in for rolling and there you go.

I ran with John, aka “the one who runs faster” again this week, and with an additional mile added I noted that I probably need to run a bit slower to avoid screaming calves part 2. (and subsequently, sitting on frozen veggies, part 2). We ran on a nearby trail today, through a neighborhood (soon to be known as the circle of hell), down more of the trail, back through the circle of hell and back to the car.

Yes. To the car. I drove somewhere to run. I get how stupid that sounds.

The first few miles were, as usual, pretty uneventful. We talked more about running (man I need a life) and how it can be hard to hear what people are saying while you’re running. So I sometimes just say “yeah” or “I know what you mean” and hope they aren’t saying something like “man I have a huge booger stuck up my nose”. I decided that I hated “the one who runs faster”‘s fancy watch because it beeped every mile and reminded me how far I had left to go.

Around mile 4 we entered the circle of hell. I called it that because it was the longest. two. miles. ever. And not even because I was tired, because we were only 4 miles in, but because it just seemed like it never ended. Plus it had a hill, which was just extra ridiculous. On the plus side, we passed a house that would make a perfect haunted house at Halloween, and when we passed it both times, I sung scary music in my head. And possibly imagined a zombie.

I was thankful for the gas station at mile 8 because it allowed me 3 things. 1. a break 2. a bathroom and 3. an an opportunity to buy some Gatorade and something to chew on. I’m guessing that piling on long run on top of another without a break is wearing on me a little, because I’m already getting tired. So I got some blue Gatorade and fruit Mentos (the freshmaker!) and we were on our way.

Are my legs supposed to be hurting already?

Muscle soreness starts to set in around mile 10 and I basically just try to distract myself by talking. That works until mile 14 when we exit the circle of hell for the second time and “the one who runs faster” decides to do what he does best: run faster. Because I’m going slower.

Yeah you go ahead and have fun with that.

These last 4 miles are the most interesting, because now I’m by myself. I get lazy by myself. One of the first things I do once he’s ahead is walk for a bit. This helps until I try to start up again, because for the first few steps of running again, its actually kinda painful. I catch myself saying “ow” out loud. Since I don’t have my ipod with me this time or anything to distract me from attempting ridiculous song lyrics, I give it another go.

They see me runnin

They hatin

Because they get a whiff of something sweaty and dirty

Yeah I’m smellin and I’m dirty

18 miles, sweaty and dirty

Gonna hug you, sweaty and dirty

Man, I wish I had annoying watch right now, because at least then I would have an idea of how many miles are left. Another runner is crouched down up ahead and I hope that he isn’t planning to kidnap me, because I’m so tired that my only escape possibility would be to scream. Maybe I could bite him? Or kick him where it counts and then limp away? Punch him in the nose?

Then he stops stretching, gets up and continues.

Phew. Crisis averted.

At about mile 17 ( I think ) I start to pass from ow mode into “the point of no return”. AKA I’m completely on auto pilot and God help me if I stop because I probably won’t be able to start running again. I can’t concentrate on anything really so I literally start counting from 1-100 over and over again until I get to the end. I’m at almost 1000 when I see “the one who runs faster” running back towards me. He so kindly turned back so that I didn’t have to run the end by myself and I thanked him by flipping him the bird.

Now don’t yell at me. I really was appreciative that he came back, I was just flipping him off because not only did he finish before me, but he had enough energy to turn around and run some more. I mean, I was counting from 1-100 over and over again for pete’s sake.

He informs me that in order to hit 18 miles, I actually have to run slightly past my car to a nearby telephone pole. And because 17.98 miles just isn’t going to cut it, I do it.

Yay! My car! A shower! I’m done!

I did manage to run a slower pace this week (aka, was forced to by fatigue), and managed to avoid screaming calves part 2, but unfortunately am still going too fast for the full race since I was as tired as I was at the end. 9:16min/mile today.

2 LONG runs down, 2 to go.

And I totally want a shirt that says: They see me runnin. They hatin.