A few things I’ve learned over the course of this week:

  • When you travel, always check your bags for scorpions (apparently Mid-Western travelers may unknowingly be carrying them in their bags)
  • It’s a bad idea to try to suck snake venom from a snake bite (per our CPR instructor today)

                                                   (That’s a no-no if you’ve been bitten by a snake)

  • If you’re thinking about other things while reading email or driving, you may accidentally mis-read words. For example “Afllac” may appear to be “attack” and “Beware survey crew” may appear as “beware screwy curves”
  • Only being able to find one slipper is rather unfortunate for the uncovered foot.
  • When your husband agrees to post his daily schedule on your shared Google calendar, be prepared when you check it to find jokes like the following:
  • 8-9:30 am: Organize Porn Collection
  • Watching the movie “Contagion” will make you never want to touch anything or anyone ever again

 

In other “news”

For anyone unfamiliar with the new IPhone4S, it has  new feature on it called “Siri”, a voice activated system that is pretty sweet. You can ask it questions like “What’s the weather like in Charleston?” and it will tell you, it will text for you and it will find facts for you. A friend of mine, branding her brand new phone today, asked Siri the following questions:

Friend: Where can I hide a dead body?

Siri: What kind of place are you looking for? (lists options like reservoir and river)

Friend: Reservoir

Siri: The nearest reservoir is 10 miles away

Friend: Will you have sex with me?

Siri: I don’t think that would work very well.

Friend: How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood?

Siri: Don’t you have anything better to do?

Ok that’s hysterical. And I want one. 🙂