A Post About Nothing In Particular

Making the decision to ignore infertility and simply live for awhile is great for the soul, but bad for the blogging. Without that constant reminder, I’m left with not much to write about.

We (by we I mean Bryan) are planning our next home improvement attempt: refinishing the floors. When we bought this house we knew we’d have to fix the floors. The renters who lived here prior to us clearly had no respect for stuff that isn’t theirs. It appears as though their dog ran rampant through the house with his or her claws digging into the wood. You probably think I’m exaggerating, but you’d be wrong. I agreed to the idea of attempting to refinish as long as it didn’t cost too much. I may be more lax about spending, but we still may need that IVF money one day. Building the fence was a fabulous idea though, as Bryan stepped outside the back door this morning to wish me off, declaring (though really only loud enough for me to hear) that he was standing outside in his underwear and no one could see him.

It’s the little things, right?

The Barbados clinic called me a few days ago to ask if we were still interesting in pursing the IVF Vacation. At this point I told them to contact me again late summer/early fall. If our bodies can’t manage it on their own by then I figure it will be time to commence….

Are you ready for this?

Operation Insemination Vacation

I should be a comedian, right?

Yeah I get it, don’t quit my day job. Regardless, that’s what we’re calling it. In the meantime, I’m hoping this relaxed attitude sticks around for awhile. I paid a visit to the Doctor’s Care yesterday, was greeted by a very pregnant doctor while reading an article about pregnant celebrities and didn’t even bat an eye.

Weird.

I’d Rather Use a Fork to Eat

Life throws lots of curveballs.

Fortunately, this is a positive one.

Bryan and I had discussed and agreed to get more information on the Barbados IVF. I had just faxed a record release yesterday asking our local clinic to sent our records to Barbados so we could have our phone consult and decide for sure when we wanted to try to go. All the while, he has diligently been taking his hormones prescribed by his endocrinologist, but after 4 less than fabulous SA’s – I didn’t expect this one to go any better, and honestly, I don’t think Bryan did either.

His sperm count is normal.

Yeah, you read that right, NORMAL.

36 million with 70% motility.

Holy crap.

NOW WHAT?

After months of “IVF is your only option”, I’m not even sure what to do with myself. Don’t get me wrong, I am excited, but I am also tired of waiting. It seems absolutely silly to jump into IVF right now, but I think I still need a deadline. I unfortunately tend to fall into the more realistic pessimistic category, thinking still of my PCOS ovaries, my blocked tube, and the ever elusive “unexplained infertility”.

In this case, too much knowledge and the start of yet another new cycle has killed my ability to be positive or excited at this point.

So we’re at yet another fork in the road. Do we keep trying naturally for awhile? Do we try an IUI? At this point I feel more like “put a fork in me, I’m done”.

I think I’ll just use the fork to eat some pie. Maybe a whole one.

IVF….Vacation? (Yes, please!)

I made a declaration at the beginning of April. Frustrated with all the stress surrounding us, I decided 3 things were going to happen:

1. Bryan’s ex is going to leave us alone

2. Bryan is going to get a job offer

3. I ‘m going to have a miracle natural pregnancy

No, I was not drunk when I made this declaration, but perhaps I might as well have been.

On the plus side, #1 FINALLY happened. (In short, she was sueing him – it was such a huge amount of ridiculousness I can’t even explain it properly, and went on for months.)

11 days left on #2 and #3.

So we are quickly approaching the waiting period I had decided on before moving onto the IVF. I was so terribly disappointed to put it off a couple months ago, and suddenly I find myself not quite ready to jump in.

When I first started doing research on IVF’s a couple of search responses for IVF Vacation popped up. Intrigued, I clicked on them. Apparently, its fairly popular to have a procedure done overseas, and since you are there for awhile you essentially get a vacation thrown in. Unfortunately, all of the ones I researched required a 21-30 day stay- something I have nowhere near enough PTO for. And even though the cost of the IVF is highly discounted, losing money not working wouldn’t have made it worth it.

Until I came across another blogger planning to do one in Barbados.

Barbados only requires a 14 day stay. And the cost for travel, lodging AND the procedure is roughly the same as JUST the procedure would cost us here.

She so kindly sent me the website and I clicked on it. Immediately I began to drool over the beach pictures.

Seriously? (image credit)

From what I’ve gathered from her and preliminarily, you order meds and begin them at home. At a certain point in your cycle you travel there. The cost of the hotel packages (beachfront!) include shuttle to and from the airport and to and from the hospital for the procedure. The retrieval and transfer are done there, you rest for a couple of days and then head home and take the pregnancy test at home.They actually claim a higher success rate than my doc gave me here (71% vs 65%)

When Bryan and I took our most recent mini vacation, we were SO much more relaxed even for those two days. We felt like different people. And even though things are finally becoming less stressful around here, I can only imagine what two weeks in a tropical place could do.

So for the same amount of money as the stressful, try to schedule around work and clean my house while dealing with my crazy dogs bored to death procedure here, I could spend two weeks in a tropical place? (YAY honeymoon we never took!)

Yes, please!

No decisions have been made yet. If we do it, it won’t be till probably late summer so the procedure would be put off again, but strangely I feel completely ok with that.

And if it doesn’t work? At least we got a two week tropical vacation.

The most expensive vacation EVER, but I guess beggars can’t be choosers.

So, if my declarations don’t come true, I have a FANTASTIC plan B:

Don’t forget a towel to catch your drool (image credit)

Lessening the Financial Burden – Hopefully

(My apologies for the weird ~ marks – for some reason it won’t let me space the post the way I want it and that was the only way I could insert a space)

~

I clicked on a Facebook link yesterday that gave a fictional story of a couple with infertility. I can relate to that. I can relate to almost all of them. At the end of the story though was information on something that was apparently introduced in 2011 but until now I had never heard of: The Family Act

~

• The Family Act covers the out-of-pocket costs associated with in vitro fertilization (IVF) including diagnostic tests, laboratory charges, professional charges, and medications for IVF.
• The Family Act covers the out-of-pocket costs of fertility preservation procedures if the man or woman is diagnosed with cancer and the cancer treatment or disease itself may result in infertility.
• The Family Act has a cost sharing provision allowing 50% of all applicable medical expenses to be  covered up to a lifetime maximum of $13,360. You would need to have out-of-pocket costs totaling $26,720 to claim the entire credit in your lifetime.
• If you do not owe taxes in a particular year, do not owe enough taxes to use the whole credit, or do not reach the max amount in one tax year, it carries over to the next year for a max of five years after the first year you use the credit.
• The Family Act is available to couples filing jointly with adjusted gross incomes of less than $222,520, but the credit is smaller for those earning between $182,500 and $222,520.

As all of you probably know by now, either because you’ve experienced it or I’ve complained about it so much, most insurances do not cover infertility treatments. This opportunity for a tax credit would be a HUGE help in lifting the financial burden. Except it hasn’t passed yet. Naturally I hopped on board and clicked to send a pre-written email asking my state “decision makers” to support this Act.

~

The format looked like this:

~

Senator Lindsey Graham
Russell Senate Office Building, Room 290
Constitution and Delaware Avenues, NE
Washington, DC 20510-4003

~

Dear Senator Graham,As someone who cares about the 7.3 million women and men with
infertility, I ask for your support in co-sponsoring the Family Act of
2011, S 965. The Family Act creates a tax credit for the out-of-pocket
costs associated with infertility medical treatment.

*Enter personal statement here*

Thank you for your support of S 965, the Family Act.   And thank you
for helping millions of Americans build their families.

Sincerely,

Theresa ——-

Address etc.

~

At first I tried to click through without a personal statement.

~

But it wouldn’t let me.

~

Where do I even begin? I could go on for pages on the effects of infertility – physically, emotionally, financially. How it impacts your marriage, your social life, your work, play, everything. I’ve blogged about this before. However, our state “decision makers” don’t have that kind of time. How on earth do I describe this in just a few sentences that someone important might actually read?

~

I have to admit I thought of a few sarcastic, not so PC ones:

• Teenagers everywhere get pregnant because they didn’t use birth control. I did. I got a job and got married. Now I have to pay for the chance to have a baby. In the words of every teenager out there: that’s not fair.
• Seriously? Snookie is pregnant. Please support the SANE people trying to build families
• Because I shouldn’t have to take a second mortgage out on my house to have a baby
• First comes the love, then comes the marriage, then we push the debt around in the baby carriage. Please support this tax credit
• Because we have a MEDICAL PROBLEM that ordinarily would be covered by insurance, but for some ridiculous reason that I can’t understand it isn’t, so at least give us the freaking tax credit
• Because I could beat you in a race
• Because I don’t want to have to pay for depression meds on top of treatment
• Because I’m cool people
• Because IVF costs as much as a CAR. (At least when you buy a car, you know you get to take it home)

Finally, I decided on this:

~

Infertility is a heart wrenching experience and the treatment cost is
often astronomical. Please help support our fight to build our family
by lessening the financial burden.

~

I don’t usually post here asking people to do things. Please take a few minutes, click the link below and send a letter to your state “decision maker” to support this for all of us.

~

Because if this were passed for tax year 2012, it would be a HUGE help to me, and many others I know and don’t know going through IVF this year.

~

Because I can out run you.

~

 The Family Act

Gift of Life 5k and a Big Decision

This race has become one of my favorites. I happened upon it one year while training with a group for a 10k and have done it each year since then (for a total of 3 years so far). It supports a really great cause, has kick butt shirts (I’m a huge fan of any race that gives away long sleeved shirts), good food at the end and cool prizes if you happen to win something.

What it supports, though, is really the coolest part: organ and tissue donation. Many of the participants are those who have had an organ donated to them.

The lady to the right (and many others) participated in the run in dedication to a donor.  Hers says: my donors who gave me sight. My donors loving families.

Hers was one of many. Some were fortunate enough to be living donors, but most had suffered a tragedy, lost their lives, and donated their organs to someone who needed them.

The race itself has been hosted at James Island County Park for the last several years. Before we took off, a sabre line stood a woman who beautifully sang the National Anthem.

Before and after crowds of people gathered around to mingle and play cornhole.

It was not my finest race. I started out strong, but unfortunately mother nature decided it was time to interfere and bombarded me with cramps and a backache halfway through. At mile two I was at 14:37 but had a really slow third mile and my final time was 23:05. All things considered, though, and no thanks to my body and this particular time of the month, I did ok

Finish line?  Yes please!

After the race, a bagel and a change of clothes (thank goodness for the jeans I had in my car), they began the ceremony. Normally I’m more annoyed by this because I’m competitive and just want to know if  I won one of those nice medal over there. Because usually its just thanks everyone for coming blah de blah de blah. At this race though, two sets of families come up and tell their stories. One shared their experience donating the organs of their lost loved one and the other their experience of receiving an organ from someone else.

It was very touching.

And yes, I won a medal And a 20$ gift certificate to Dicks Sporting Goods! Woot!

I definitely plan to keep running that race in the future. How can you not?

Now, for those of you who I just KNOW have been waiting with bated breath regarding my IVF decision (HA):

My cycle started this morning, right on time, with quite a vengence. 1000mg of ibproufen in 6 hours and 2 hours under a heating pad was still rendering me in pain….and crabby. Bryan gave me a muscle relaxer which basically put me to sleep for 2 more hours and then I left go play a softball scrimmage all loopy.

That tidbit was more for amusement purposes than anything else.

I’ve decided to wait. Instead of starting the cycle now with a transfer in mid-April, we are going to start the cycle around the end of April with a transfer in mid-June. Miracle endo gets two cycles to prove his miracle drug worthy, but probably regardless of sperm count at that time no natural pregnancy = we are doing IVF. It’s two cycles. I’ll keep busy, run a few short races, play a season of softball and demand a weekend away using the timeshare. That and save money.

Although I want this more than anything, preferably YESTERDAY, I finally succumbed to the logic that waiting another couple of months isn’t going to prove to be detrimental, and keeping in mind that we will still go through with it in April should help keep my emotions at bay when my period inevitably shows up.

I am keeping my faith that this two month wait will be worth it. Remind me of that when, in two days (or two hours) I wonder what the hell I was thinking.

Show me a Sign

I think we all look for signs.

That’s not what I meant (pinterest.com)

I think regardless of religious beliefs, when we are faced with a tough decision or a fork in the road, we look for signs on which direction to choose. Do I turn left, or right? Do I go back to school at 35 and change careers, or stay where I am? Do I buy a house or keep renting? Do I take job A or job B? At some point you prayed or otherwise asked the universe for a sign.

That’s not quite it either (pinterest.com)

A week has gone by since Bryan dropped his “my endo thinks this is going to work” bomb. This decision is proving more difficult to make than how to pay for the IVF, because at least the financial part could be figured out with a plan. Part of my brain screams why NOT try to see if you can save the money and get pregnant naturally? And part of my brain (the negative, though I like to refer to it as realistic) screams stick with the original plan because statistically your chances aren’t great and IVF gives you the best possible chance.

Sigh.

I’m not going to lie, I’m not typically a big pray-er (i.e. the act of praying, not to be confused with prayer), but my issues lately have been the opposite of concrete and logical (and impossible to solve with a spreadsheet) and more along the lines of flipping a coin or playing rock, paper, scissors. I’m having to do things like trust my instincts, have faith, and believe in things I can’t necessarily prove. (HA!) It’s messing with my usual order of things and it’s messing with my plans.

I mentioned this in my Valentines post briefly, so if you’ve read it already, sorry but you get to read it again (the option of skipping ahead is also feasible). Bryan cooked dinner for me and we had planned to eat outside on the patio and enjoy the nice weather. We don’t make a habit of praying at meals.  We talk about finding a church but continue to sleep in on Sunday mornings (well, he sleeps, I run). Our efforts have been lackluster. But for whatever reason Bryan starts praying before we eat. When he’s finished, I throw in my own “please help guide me in this decision” (he’s left it up to me). Bryan cheesily goes “send us a sign!”. I laugh at him, thinking I’m pretty sure that’s not the way it works. I get up to get salt and come back out. Not two seconds later, it starts to rain.

Ever since then I’ve been trying to figure out if that was some sort of sign. I’ve admittedly googled “rain and fertility” and “rain and signs from God” and have kind of fallen short. Some sites say rain is a sign of fertility. But I’m still not sure what that would mean in terms of our situation. Does that mean we are becoming fertile on our own? Or that IVF will increase fertility? Part of the problem with “signs” is that you can find ones for almost every situation and twist them to what you want them to mean. I’m trying to not do that. Heck, it simply could have meant “the earth is thirsty”, or “maybe you should drink more water”, or “you might want to go inside and eat instead”.

It could have meant nothing. Could be completely coincidental.

Truthfully, after the week has gone by I have the feeling more and more that I’m going to cave and agree to wait it out, with a time limit, and probably a relatively short one. A friend of mine asked me recently if I get a pang in my heart every time I see a pregnant woman.

I do.

That pang is what keeps me from making the commitment. Though logically I can explain to myself that it’s only for a couple more months and that it doesn’t mean IVF is off the table. Those extra couple months might actually put us in a better financial situation with hubby becoming self employed. And in fact, while doing the original research on the FSH, I found a study where it didn’t help sperm count, but DID result in a higher pregnancy rate for those pursuing IVF. Bryan’s next analysis on the FSH is scheduled for April 1 – about 6 weeks from now.

I have one more week to decide.

I still don’t know if that rain was a sign, but I think it was. I think it means something, I’m just not sure what. If I think about it, I remember connecting rain to fertility. And I found some evidence of the belief that rain is a sign of fertility. Maybe not on our own. Maybe the FSH will merely assist in the success of the IVF at a later date. I guess in a time of needing to trust my instincts, instead of researching and analyzing, I should go with my first feeling in response to the rain:

Rain is a sign of fertility. I feel like I’m being told to wait.

I’d be lying if I said that didn’t make me sad. At first, it broke my heart a little. I was starting to see pregnant women and NOT feel the pang, knowing we would be en route soon. Since this latest issue, it’s returned.

The logic part of me is screaming at me right now. The part that knows the statistics and the studies. The part that thinks about the 65% chance vs who knows what chance. I’m testing my read of my own instincts here, because logic won’t work. I suppose that in the grand scheme of things, evidence for or against that doesn’t matter. Googling for hours isn’t going to answer my questions of what the rain means. Researching IVF success rates isn’t going to make it work.

What matters is what the rain means to me.

I still have a week left, but I think I know what I’m going to decide.

I will probably keep looking out for signs

P1nt3r35t.com 

Sometimes Ignorance is Bliss

I thought I had it all figured out.

It took me months to really wrap my head around the IVF and accept the fact that the next large chunk of money was going to be put towards this. Not new floors. Not a vacation. Not to paying off my car.

It took me a couple of weeks to finally decide that I wanted to go for the multi-cycle plan, just in case. I made phone calls about financing. I talked it over with Bryan. A few days ago, I paid off the balance on my credit card so I could use it to pay for the cycles. (Amongst all options, it turns out this was the best one)

I felt better. Not wonderful, but better. Still nervous but mostly ready.

Then Bryan comes home from his appointment with the endocrinologist at the VA.

For those of you who didn’t know, he has been taking HCG shots 3x per week in attempt to stimulate sperm growth from the 0 sperm count he had several months ago. At this point, he’s hovering between 6-9 million. Not enough for natural conception or an IUI, but plenty for an IVF. What we don’t know is if the HCG actually helped produce the sperm, or if it was the result of natural recovery.

First, the endocrinologist apparently asked Bryan if I was pregnant yet. With 6 million sperm? Hardly. He wants to add FSH shots to the mix, supposedly to skyrocket his sperm count to within fertile limits (HAHA, I write WFL to mean within functional limits on my kiddo’s evaluations, but this one makes WFL mean something totally different). Bryan hands me this study when I got home a couple of days ago on the effectiveness of FSH on sperm growth and ability to conceive, claiming the endo told him we could reasonably expect to be pregnant “by April or May”.

He expected me to be excited, but mostly I just felt overwhelmed. I had a plan in place. I was starting the countdown to the start of my next cycle and day one of the process. I would be excited if I KNEW it would work, its never that simple:

1. In this study, the median time it took to conceive was 2.3 years. Bryan claims his endo believes that he is at the same place as these men were at the 2 year mark. I am not sure what the basis is for this – except I guess that he has some sperm now.
2. This type of treatment is only effective if Bryan was fertile before he started the shots. We don’t know if he was because he never had an SA prior to starting testosterone way back when, and have no way of knowing at this point.
3. In this study, only 50% were pregnant at the 10 month point. Maybe it could work but I don’t have the patience for 10+ months anymore.  Plus that’s only 50%.
4. His hormone levels are currently normal. The RE told us that with hormone levels that are normal, adding more of the same hormone probably won’t make a big difference. However, his levels WERE low before.
5. Our issues are not 100% male factor. With PCOS, albeit mild, and a blocked tube, there are my issues to consider also.
6. It appears that the best response to sperm production was in the 2^nd cycle of treatment. If I read correctly, one cycle = 6 months. So while the endo thinks we are a mere couple months away, statistics seem to show a longer period.

The thing that sticks in my head more than anything is, when Bryan told the endo I wanted to pursue IVF, his response was “that’s stupid”.

I’m glad I wasn’t there, because I would have wanted to poke him in the eye.

Truthfully, I have so far put much more weight on the words of the RE. However, Bryan had a point I couldn’t totally refute: why hadn’t he put me on the metformin earlier, and not just right before we had planned to pursue an IVF? He does get paid to do these procedures. I’m not saying I no longer trust my RE, but it was something to think about.

Now, 2 weeks before we are set to start, I am back to square one. While Bryan has said he will do whatever I want to do (which makes him wonderful but also no help at all), I know he would prefer to give the FSH a couple of months. His endo seems convinced we are a mere few months away from achieving pregnancy on our own. I am skeptical. But it now feels almost financially irresponsible to not give it a shot. Logically, I understand that waiting a couple more months wouldn’t be a big deal. I’m young enough, and plenty of people don’t even start trying till they are over 30. Emotionally, I’m not there. Emotionally, I am still waiting for the IVF.

I keep looking for signs or something on what to decide. I remember once feeling confident we would eventually conceive naturally. I keep wondering what if the endo is right? What if my original confidence was really right? I keep thinking about the period of time when I somewhat crazily paid 3 online baby psychics to tell me when I would get pregnant. One of them said April, and said she noticed no issues with Bryan, which to me implies a natural pregnancy. I can’t help but think, if we waited, could that be true? I found myself dreaming of vacations and new floors again.

I don’t want to fail to mention that I paid two others (yes, I know, don’t say it) who both predicted this past July, and were obviously both wrong.

Seriously? I’m partially basing a life decision on a woman to whom I paid $12 to make a prediction based on a picture because it might be some sort of sign??

Just institutionalize me now.

Pic Credit

Sometimes I think waiting it out a bit longer isn’t a big deal. But then I see a baby or someones pictures of their newborn and then it feels like much longer. On the other hand, when we discussed IVF at Christmas, the start of the process felt like an eternity away, and the time flew.

Sigh. I think I’ll go for a run now.

An Ode to Mush Brain

Today, while working with one of my kiddo’s, I asked him to name as many animals as he could think of.

Kid: tiger……elephant…….worm…..

Me: A worm is not an elephant

And 5…4…3…2….

I mean, a worm is not an animal.

Yeah.

I’m thankful for the Speech Conference next week. Usually after a few weeks with no long weekends, I start to feel kinda restless and burnt out and feel like I need a refresher so to speak, but since I’m saving my PTO for the IVF, I don’t really have any extra days to take. Unfortunately, the stress surrounding this whole IVF mess isn’t helping, thus leading me to what I am affectionately calling “mush brain”.

After I had finished working with above kiddo, I took him out to talk to his mom and discuss his progress for the day. I started with “he did well today, we worked on…..”

And I drew a complete blank.

pinterest, you are my favorite

Luckily this child was not a first-timer, because I probably would have scared them away to a Speech Therapist with a better functioning memory.

On the way home, I may or may not have driven a couple miles with my left turn signal on. (What? I was going to turn left eventually). I honestly am not sure at what point in the drive it was switched on, I just noticed it at a stop light. Where I was waiting to go straight. Also, I have totally made fun of my mother for that exact same thing, commenting that the car needed a “hey you left your signal on, stupid” buzzing noise.
Thank goodness there are no plans in the near future to leave me home alone where I might leave the oven on. (I don’t iron, so that won’t happen either)

You know how computers or MP3 players will display “memory full”? when you try to add that one extra file or song and there isn’t enough room? That is how my brain feels right now.

This is your brain.

This is your brain on mush.

as always, thank you pinterest

An Ode to Mush Brain

I’m staring into space

For an insane amount of time

Because I just can’t seem to think

Of any words that rhyme

I’ll turn my signal on right now

While my hand is free

I’m not gonna turn for awhile

But I’ll do it eventually

Having pizza tonight for dinner

In its circular baking tin

Yay! The timer’s beeping

But I forgot to put it IN (that’s what she said)

(yes, that actually just happened….and no, I did NOT do it on purpose)

Mama Said There’d Be Days Like This

I’ve gotten many comments recently about my positivity (is that a word? It is now) and frame of mind regarding this IVF.

I feel like a bit of a fake, because I’m not always that positive. In fact, things have taken a bit of an unanticipated dip in the emotions department. Initially, when we decided to go through with the IVF, I felt better, more at peace, and even a little excited to be pursuing what is going to be our best chance at achieving pregnancy. I didn’t anticipate what a pain in the @$$ it would be to not only pay for the procedure, but try to decide which method would be best. And I didn’t anticipate this sudden, somewhat paralyzing fear of it failing.

And by failing, I mean more heartache.

I’ve read lots of blogs over the last few months. There is so much heartache in infertility, and not just in the inability to get pregnant, but the procedures, the ups and downs while waiting to find out if it worked, finding out it didn’t work, and worst of all, finding out it DID work, only to miscarry later. That is the heartache I fear the most. And I’m not going to lie, knowing that I have to pay over the next several years for these procedures, whether they work or not, doesn’t help much. Like a constant reminder of what didn’t happen.

I have seen and heard about one too many (all are too many) losses or complications in the last several weeks, and it’s been messing with my head. While I still 100% think that not trying would ultimately be more costly than trying, I really didn’t anticipate all this fear going into it. I know when all is said and done that it’s just money. But I feel like I’m handing a little bit of my heart over with the credit card, leaving it in the hands of fertility doctors, nurses, financial advisors, and God. I’m hoping that this is like the walls I hit while training for a marathon, where I push through it even thought I don’t want to, because I know that it won’t last forever and will be worth it in the end.

Please let it be worth it in the end.

A Second Date with Bob

Bob and I, perhaps unfortunately, are going to become good friends.

The first time I met Bob, it was a year go, at our first visit to the fertility clinic. Feeling a little bitter,and slightly overwhelmed, I didn’t really welcome Bob’s quick advances on our first date, and so didn’t even bother to learn his name.  I mean, I’m not THAT easy.

Today I went in for a re-draw of my Day 3 labs, to check certain hormone levels on the 3rd day of my cycle. Apparently, I also needed another baseline ultrasound.

Enter Bob, the ultrasound wand.

While seated on the exam table, naked from the waist down, I waited for the nurse to perform the ultrasound. For those who are unfamiliar, I’m not referring to the kind of ultrasound you see on tv that goes over the stomach, I’m talking about the one that has a face to face with my girly parts. (internal ultrasound)People always talk about the dil.do cam, and while I vaguely recalled chuckling to Bryan a year ago that it did, in fact, really closely resemble one, I sat with Bob today, and decided I needed to make peace with his advances on our first date, because today was going to be the second of many.

The nurse entered, and out of slight nervousness I uttered “has anyone told you that thing looks like a dil.do?” (because I apparently thought I was the first person to ask such a witty question). She chuckled anyway and told me “yeah, we call him Bob”.

I should have gotten a picture with Bob.

He still didn’t even bother to introduce himself before making his advance*. Men. AND charged me a horribly high fee for his intrusion. Not even a cheap date.

Till we meet again, Bob. Next time, at least kiss me first………on second thought, nevermind.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

*Apparently, everything looks ok. No activity on the ovaries, since its so early in the cycle. 15 follicles on one and 12 on the other. Uterus apparently looks good. No cysts.  At least Bob was able to tell me something productive. Not much else is going to be done until my next cycle. I’ve been taking the Metformin for a week no with no issues thus far. We’re still mulling over the financial aspect and I’m going to run in a couple 5 k’s in the mean time. One on Saturday!