The Right One

A good friend of mine got married this weekend.

Without getting into too much detail about her personal life (because that’s her story to tell, not mine), as I said to her once “you’ve been through a lot of crap to get to this point”. But through all of the crap she found her happy ending, and in the time she has been with this man she’s been the happiest I’ve seen her.

As someone who sometimes lacks the ability to be truly happy for another person while wrapped up in this infertility misery (and I don’t mean that I am not happy for them, I’m talking about the “I think I’m more excited about this than you are” kind of happy), her celebration and my self imposed break from stressing came at the right time.

She tripped over many relationship rocks, but always managed to steady herself, and at the end she found the person she tripped over all of those rocks for. The one that made the wait worthwhile. I felt lucky to be able to be a part of this journey, and of course the wedding was fabulous.

Ready to be a maid of the bride

Rockin out the pockets

Oh there was a wedding? I came for the cake

Sharing some of the love

Bryan and I had a blast dancing like maniacs and our silliness carried over to the car ride home where we made up fake lyrics to real songs.  The backstory on this one was that we passed a couple of girls eating Frostie’s on the way home.

To the Tune of “Total Eclipse of the Heart”

Once upon a time I had a frosty in here

And now its just a straw in a cup

Dunno what I did

I must have just sucked it all up

I was warned to give credit where credit is due : Bryan made up the second line.

And in response to a “DUI Crackdown” sign on the freeway – to the tune of “The Final Countdown”

It’s a DUI Crackdown

Wee ooo Wee oooo

Wee ooo Weee ooo Weee

(like police sirens)

We are 29 and 35 with a combined age of 12.

Anyway, what prompted me to write this post was at one point during the reception, I overheard a family member say that my friend had said something to the effect of (I’m paraphrasing here) “I’ve been in love with him my whole life, I just had to wait for him”. While it was a rocky road to get there, he was worth the wait.

It dawned on me then that this is much like what the infertility journey is about. It’s a long, drawn out, rocky and painful wait. Like failed relationships you get your hopes up that this is the one and when it isn’t it’s a hard thing to recover from. Sometimes you feel like giving up. Sometimes you wonder if it’s meant to be at all. She watched friends marry just as I have watched friends have children wondering if your number will ever be pulled, if you will be the last one in your circle, trying to fit awkwardly into the conversations about relationships and children. It’s a lonely feeling.

But she waited, and she found him. He was the right one.

My biggest congratulations, my friend. You deserve it. And I couldn’t be happier for you.

I still hope to not have to the be the last, awkward one trying to voice my opinions about things I haven’t yet experienced regarding child rearing, but I know that one day it will be my turn. Many people say that the child chooses us.

It will be worth the wait.

It will be the right one.

Breaking Up is Hard to Do

Dear Infertility,

When we first met I didn’t really know you existed. You were like a quiet follower, tip toe-ing around in soft slippers while I went about my life. You were there but I never saw you, didn’t really understand what you were or how you were about to turn my life upside down.

We met a bit more formally a little over a year later, when I found myself feeling slapped in the face by life and what felt like my own consistent misfortune, watching others’ so easily get what I was finally realizing I wanted so badly. You ceased tip toe-ing around me then,  and appeared suddenly in front of me with the same kind of shocking impact as someone who interrupts what is clearly a very personal and private conversation with their own agenda. You were rude and uninvited.

I hesitantly started a relationship with you with our first visit to the RE, and somehow, without my fully knowing it, you began to take over my life. I gave up  my control to you and watched myself become hurt, bitter, and sometimes jealous. I was moody and distant and began to lose what I liked most about myself. I got some of it back by starting my blog, but my focus turned to attempts to save every penny and control every aspect I could about my cycle and my life, as if you were going to really allow me that.

Maybe it was the two thwarted IVF plans, maybe it was the news of hubby’s latest sperm count, maybe it was something spiritual. Maybe it was some combination. Maybe it was none of that. But for whatever reason, I am ready to finally separate from you. Over the course of time, our relationship has become toxic.  I refuse to remain in a relationship that doesn’t allow me to grow. I’m tired of putting off projects, of surrendering my quality time, of putting life on hold.

An unplanned trial separation turned out better than I could have hoped for – with a fun weekend with my family and permission to myself to spend some of the money I couldn’t bear to part with. I went away and enjoyed myself. We spent money on a fence for the yard and I don’t regret it one bit. In fact, today hubby and I started looking at flooring (!!). I’ve learned from our time together and in the long run wouldn’t change it, however, I’m ready for it to be over.

It’s time we break up.

Today I’m moving on to a healthier relationship Trying to Conceive – with two functioning (albeit not perfectly) reproductive systems, I’m declaring next cycle as Cycle 1. You remember – the time when just starting was exciting, where you could simultaneously attempt to add to your family and enjoy life. Where it’s not a big deal if it doesn’t work right away, because there is always next month.

Worst case scenario – we meet again in Barbados in the fall/winter.

For now, and hopefully forever – goodbye and good riddance. Please let the door hit you on the butt on the way out.

No Love,

Me

Contact Paper and Adventures in Graduation

I have this vague memory when I was smaller of adults cooing over how old I was getting, how tiny I used to be, and how they just remember me as a certain age.

I always found that annoying. Like, how? Do you not see me standing here now, clearly older? I was especially weirded out by people who exclaimed  how big I’d grown from when they used to babysit me, because I had no memory of any of that. Then they’d all wonder aloud where the time went and everyone else would nod in unison and agreement. I’d run away and play the first chance I had, wondering why all adults were so strange.

Then I watched my sister walk across the stage at her college graduation, the proud new owner of a Bachelor’s degree holder (they send it in the mail later which I’ve always thought was strange. Congratulations on your brand new degree….holder!) , and wondered to myself where the time went.

Confession: that’s not the first time that thought had crossed my mind.

And I already know I’m strange, so don’t bother telling me.

To backtrack a bit, I boarded a plane on Thursday headed for the mediocre  great and boring exciting state of Ohio. After a small freak out on Wednesday night about the fact that I wouldn’t be able to carry on my hairspray or mousse (see fear: pouf hair) and a perhaps-a-bit-too-frantic text to my mom and sister about the existence of said items at the house, I boarded the plane confident that I’d be able to keep my hair under control for the weekend.

If you had my hair, you’d understand.

Natalie had three main goals for the weekend:

1. Graduate

2. Move from apartment A to apartment B

3. Hang out with cool sister

Ok, I may have made that last one up.

Day One of “Operation Move Apartment” went fairly smoothly. No one broke any bones or threw any items across the room, which to me counts as a victory. I almost threw a do-it-yourself bench across the room when I couldn’t get the pieces to fit into the pre- measured holes, and found myself repeatedly sitting on them in my attempts to get the legs all the way into the seat. I was especially annoyed (albeit appreciative) after one of her guy friends managed to get them to fit in about 2 minutes.(Apparently all 128 pounds of my body just wasn’t good enough.) What was supposed to be a half day task naturally ended up taking all day, because the apartment hadn’t been cleaned very well after the previous person had moved out. Seriously, the dirt on the shelves? Gross. And in desperate need of a good scrub and some contact paper.

Contact paper and I have a love-hate relationship after spending several hours in a tiny kitchen (standing on the previously mentioned stool) covering shelves. Measure, cut, peel, unstick paper that stuck to itself or myself, press. Unpeel, repress. Flatten out bubbles. Unpeel, fix corner, repress. Flatten out bubbles. Cut excess with razor blade. Flatten. Rinse, repeat. I did it so many times that each time I peeled the paper from the backing I sang a two word song to myself titled simply “Contact Paper”,  which naturally became the joke of the weekend and was something I started singing at random times to amuse myself. I declared to anyone who would listen that I was 29 going on 18. Until that evening anyway when Natalie and her friend decided they wanted to go out to the bars….at midnight. It was already, like, 2 hours past my bedtime.

Is it bedtime yet?

At 2am, I pulled the “old” card and declared it was time to head back  because I wanted to go to bed.

I am so lame.

Also, on a totally unrelated note, double fudge cookie dough blizzards with peanut butter cups? Fabulous.

Saturday I got my happy butt out of bed and dragged it and Natalie’s butt running. We showered, ran a couple errands, grabbed breakfast and then I attacked contact paper: part 2. (Measure, cut, peel, unstick paper that stuck to itself or myself, press. Unpeel, repress. Flatten out bubbles. Unpeel, fix corner, repress. Flatten out bubbles. Cut excess with razor blade. Flatten. Rinse, repeat.)

After that, it was off to graduation:

Hi, we are with the graduate

I look nice now….

but I’ll totally steal your dollar when you aren’t looking

21 and 29 respectively, going on 5. We ranged many ages this weekend

Congratulations, Natalie.

FINALLY after all of that it was time for operation contact paper: part 3. (Measure, cut, peel, unstick paper that stuck to itself or myself, press. Unpeel, repress. Flatten out bubbles. Unpeel, fix corner, repress. Flatten out bubbles. Cut excess with razor blade. Flatten. Rinse, repeat.)

And you thought I was going to say dinner.

After another late night the whole family went to church the next morning. My aunt, who suffers from arthritis, asked me if I wouldn’t mind rubbing a couple of knots out of her shoulders. Afterwards, she told me she caught herself starting to ask me if, and I quote “did han.d jobs”. (i.e. would I massage her hands?)

For the record, the answer is yes, I do massage hands. Get your mind out of the gutter.

We took a trip in my mom’s convertible, where my mom and sister shared their incredible “cool-ness”

Suddenly, I had blinked and the weekend was over. And I found myself asking the question that I found so strange before: where did the time go? In fact, even with this incredibly long drawn out fertility journey, I ask myself that. It was nice to spend a weekend not worried, focused or even caring about fertility.

It’s time for more weekends like that. Ones that involve living and enjoying life.

Thanks for the awesome weekend, family.

I Want to Get Lucky

I often find myself thinking to myself how lucky people are that they are able to get pregnant, whether its after a procedure or naturally, but most often to those who got pregnant naturally….especially if it was quickly.

I want to get lucky.

I fall into a bit of a funk with the start of every new cycle. (hence the self diagnosed Infertility Induced Bipolar Disorder) Usually it lasts a couple of days and I’m back to myself again for the most part. This last one was harder on me though and it took me several more days to feel more normal again. It’s crazy how easily and drastically a mind frame can change, and it is during those times that I seem to completely forget what it feels like to be positive….at least emotionally. I can’t remember what it’s like to feel lucky. Other stressors don’t help much.

Yesterday afternoon I went for a walk with a friend at lunch. It was a gorgeous day and it was just nice to get outside. At one point a ladybug flew by and I said that I thought ladybugs were lucky…..though maybe only if they land on you. When we returned I went to the bathroom. I glanced into the mirror while washing my hands and jumped because there was a bug on my shirt.

It was a ladybug.

Image Credit

That little guy is actually a Chilocorus Stigma, or reverse ladybug. At least that’s how I googled it. I mean, it was shorter than “black ladybug with red spots” I called him maleybug. The lady bugs are red with black spots so it’s only natural this would be its male counterpart in my mind. But I digress…… I do that a lot.

I’d be lying if I said I’m not hoping it’s a sign of some sort, but looking for signs has the potential to cause trouble.

I decided to write this post today not only because of the cool incident with the ladybug but also because I know that this isn’t over yet.

I need something to remind me, when I’m feeling particularly snarky and depressed, that I have reasons to be proud. I have things to look forward to. I have reasons to feel lucky:

I feel incredibly fortunate now for the completely ridiculous incident at my last job, because it made me finally quit a job I didn’t really like to begin with. Now I actually LIKE my job, and love the women that I work with, who take the time to give me a hug or ask me how I felt about the last news of a pregnancy. I appreciate the kids I work with that manage to put a smile on my face even on bad days. (because how can you NOT laugh at a kid who deletes one sound in a blend and calls a clock a c.ock?)

I’m thankful to have an activity that I can turn to to help me clear my head and give me a sense of accomplishment when fertility fails me. I’m proud of those finishes, races, and miles in my shoes.

I’m glad to still be involved in music and softball. Somewhere I can spend 2 hours a week singing and playing,  not worrying.

I’m lucky to have an incredibly supportive husband who rarely (what? he’s human. he gets annoyed sometimes) gets annoyed at my cycle related moodiness and has been on my side since Day 1.

I’m relieved I saved money over the years so we can afford an IVF without going totally broke.

Quite frankly, I’m surprised sometimes that I’m able to make people laugh, and I love that about myself.

I’m supported by an amazing group of bloggers and friends. Both virtual and in real life. AND they read this ridiculous blog!

I’d like to skip the procedures and save the money and the stress. I still want to take a flipping vacation and fix the house. I’ll probably still be depressed when my next cycle starts. I might feel bitter and like all of this mess is total crap. When the next person shares pregnancy news, I’ll probably still think “lucky”.

I still want to get lucky.

But when I need it, I’ll at least have this reminder: I already am lucky.

What Infertility Has Taught Me (So far….)

February marks one year since our first visit to the fertility clinic.

It’s been a heck of a year.

I was much angrier a year ago, taken aback by some pregnancy news I didn’t expect, solidifying (to me) that everyone else was going to get pregnant before I was. I walked around in an angry cloud for a few months, and then started this blog. Though I knew logically that this pregnancy had NOTHING to do with me, I still felt as if it was some kinda of karmic slap in the face.

Today, I feel frustrated. I feel discouraged. I think that’s par for the course sometimes, especially as my unwanted visitor draws nearer. But I feel much less anger. Less jealousy. A better understanding of all the emotions and the fact that they are completely normal. More faith.

What I haven’t gained any more of is patience.(Hey, you can’t have everything)

Infertility has taught me that feeling bipolar is completely normal, and that yes, it IS possible to feel one way and then 10 minutes later, feel the exact opposite. Our most recent bump in the road has taught me this: a few days ago I felt at peace with waiting out the IVF a bit longer, until yesterday when I  forgot ALL of the reasons I decided that and started to feel like there was no way in He.ll I was going to wait any longer.

Infertility has taught me that sometimes I can be a crappy friend, though it was never my intention.

Infertility has taught me that HOPE can be a blessing, but it can also be a four letter word. There is no other way to explain why, when month after month of nothing, we continue to think that maybe THIS month is it. And why, when we are disappointed yet again, we keep doing this to ourselves.

Infertility has taught me that most insurance companies suck.

Infertility has taught me that money becomes both much more and much less important. Important because we need it to have the chance to build our family. Less important because I wouldn’t normally gamble tens of thousands of dollars for a slightly more than 50% chance on anything. But for this I will. Because when it works the money won’t matter anymore.

Infertility has taught me that a sense of humor is imperative. Thought I mostly believed this already, it becomes especially true in this case. If you don’t have something to laugh at, it’s easy to get sucked into depression.

Where else but pinterest?

Infertility has taught me that relationships are fragile. It’s easy to get so lost in the hope for a baby that you start to inadvertently disregard the relationship that made you want to build a family in the first place. It’s also solidified that I’m with the right man. Through all of my nuttiness he has continually supported me and been there for me. I wouldn’t want to go through it with ANYONE else.

Infertility has taught me that most people have no idea what infertility really means, which sometimes causes comments that seem sympathetic to them but hurtful and silly to us.

Infertility has taught me that it is important to have an outlet. Maybe its a blog, a club, a hobby or a collection. Maybe it’s a job. A pet. A nap. Several failed cooking attempts. An obsession with a celebrity. SOMETHING to keep your mind occupied.

Infertility has taught me that I have a really fabulous group of friends.

Infertility has taught me that infertility SUCKS

Infertility has taught me to have faith.

Most importantly, infertility has taught me that you’re stronger than you think, and you can keep going. I believe some of the strongest and most resilient women come out of the infertility community. They are also some of the most supportive. I’ve seen this especially recently as people have suffered losses – the outpouring of love and support was overwhelming to me.

We are a strong group of women (and men), and we must never let ourselves forget that.

pinterest

2011 Recap

I was planning on trying to create my own post about 2011, and then found this nifty template courtesy of Unruffled Lanie, who got it courtesy of All and Sundry. Thanks, because I like this version much better.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

1. What did you do in 2011 that you’d never done before?

•  Ran my first marathon
•  Was part of a Flash Mob with a group of friends from work (you can see the back of me at about 45 seconds – I’m wearing jeans and a green shirt…probably closest to the coolest thing ever.)

•  PR’d a 5k and half marathon
•  Saw the Tran sSiberian Orchestra
• Had a vulture fly into my car
• Woke up in the morning to find underwear on my windshield

• Used a spatula to clean ice off my windshield

2. Did you keep your new year’s resolutions, and will you make more for next year?


•  I didn’t make any

2012

• Get pregnant! (darn it!)
• PR 2 more race distances
• Live more in the present
• Take a vacation
• Find a church

3. Did anyone close to you give birth?


•   Jenny gave birth to Landon in May.

• Leslie gave birth to Landen on September 27. I was there when he was born and am really happy that I could be.  He had some issues at birth but is a tough little guy.

•   Megan is due in a few weeks. She won’t give birth until 2012 but I wanted to add her anyway.

4. Did anyone close to you die?


• No, thankfully.

5. What countries did you visit?

• None.  Just the good old US of A

6. What would you like to have in 2012 that you lacked in 2011?

• A baby
• Less stress over things I can’t control
• Faith

7. What dates from 2011 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?

• January 16 – Finished my first marathon
• February 20 – First visit to RE
• May 14 – Flash Mob!
• August 19 – hubby throws me awesome surprise birthday party
• September 11 – first anniversary
• October 24 – Ran 5th Half Marathon and PR’d the crap out of it!

8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?


• Finishing my first marathon
• Maintaining sanity despite infertility (trust me, its not easy)

9. What was your biggest failure?

• Spending over half the year worrying and stressing about getting pregnant. I’m not even sure how much time I wished and stressed away.

10. Did you suffer illness or injury?

• Inferility
• Diagnosed with asthma

11. What was the best thing you bought?

• Gutters for the house (yeah it was a lame year)

12. Where did most of your money go?

• Mortgage and bills, eating out, fertility related crap, savings

13. What did you get really excited about?

• Finishing a marathon, training for the second, blogging, my job

14. What song will always remind you of 2011

• Katy Perry – ET

15. Compared to this time last year, are you:


• – happier or sadder? A little of both
• – thinner or fatter? Same
• – richer or poorer? Poorer

16. What do you wish you’d done more of?


• Laugh
• Relax

17. What do you wish you’d done less of?


• Worry
• Feel bitter
  

18. How did you spend Christmas?

•  Went to Ohio to visit my mom, dad, sister, grandfather and aunt. Ran 20 miles with a good, and also crazy runner friend. Saw my old college roommate who I hadn’t seen in 5 years.

19. What was your favorite TV program?

• Modern Family

20. What were your favorite books of the year?

• The Hunger Games series
• The Help
• Out of My Mind

21. What was your favorite music from this year?


• Katy Perry – ET
• Adele – Set Fire to the Rain
• Selena Gomez – Love You Like A Love Song
• Alexandra Stan – Mr Saxobeat
• Bruno Mars – It Will Rain

22. What were your favorite films of the year?

• The Help
• Harry Potter

23. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?

• I met a friend for a massage and dinner. When we got home I was greeted by about 30 of my friends that my husband had invited for a fertility themed surprise party complete with a sperm-chasing-an-egg cake and a phallic looking pinata. It was fabulous. I turned 29.

24. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?

• The appearance of a magical fertility fairy (since the disappearance of infertility is pretty much impossible, I might as well go all out in my wish )

25. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2011?

• I so don’t care. I just buy what I think is cute. And on sale. Bonus if its both.

26. What kept you sane?

• My husband
• My friends
• Reading
• Running
• Blogging

27. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2011.


• Worrying, jealousy and bitterness do nothing but make you more miserable.
• I can do, and tolerate more than I thought I was capable of.

Thanks and Thorns

Something happened. A few days ago it was Halloween. Then I blinked and it was Thanksgiving.

Scary because they say time only goes faster as you get older.

So it’s a day of Thanks, and my visit from Aunt Flo came. And, like other annoying relatives, showed up early and unannounced. The perpetual thorn of infertility is particularly stabby today. So while I’m certainly NOT saying I that I’m not blessed or don’t have things to be thankful for, I’m not feeling particularly thankful right now, (except for Ibproufen) but I’m gonna try.

I did get a pleasant surprise last night, though. An understanding hubby took me out for chocolate cake.  We also went to Target for a book….and walked out with like 10 things (see, I told you), and I was apparently nominated for a blog award. Cool!

I recall seeing this little guy on other blogs I’d visited and thought ” I wonder how I get a blog award”

The idea behind this particular one is the word Leibster, the German word for beloved or favorite. It’s designed particularly for blogs with 200 followers or less (when I read this I thought – people seriously have 200 followers? Mine just doubled to 13 and I was really excited!) to encourage further attention and followers. It is a bit chain-letter-y, which I’m usually not into, but frankly I was excited to think there was someone out there who liked my blog enough to nominate me, and I figured it would be a cool thing to do for someone else. Plus now I get that cool pic up there to put on my sidebar

My nominator, Daydreaming in Progress, totally made my day yesterday.

The rules:

1. Copy and paste the award on your blog.
2. Thank the giver and link back to the blogger who gave it to you.
3. Reveal your top 5 picks and let them know by leaving a comment on their blog.
4. Hope that your followers will spread the love to other bloggers.

My top 5: (and my apologies if I pick you and you already have 200 followers, I couldn’t find anything that indicated the number)

1. Relaxed No More- an infertility blog. We seem to have a similar sense of humor

2. The Elusive Second Line – a blog about infertility. She’s been very supportive of my own blog and I’m happy to pass the support along!

3. Running in Mommyland – a blog about a mom training for her first marathon! You go girl! And if I remember correctly, conceived her twins through IVF.

4. Living Our Life in Cycles – I actually found this one (or she found me), through ICLW. A runner taking a break from running to peruse the journey of infertility. Stupid infertility.

5. Running is Magical - fellow runner who recently finished her 2nd ( I think ) half marathon and is currently training for a 3rd.  Way to go!

And even though I’m not in a great mood today, I’m going to share 5 things I’m thankful for:

1. My husband. He’d sell his soul if he knew it would make me happy. He is absolutely one of the most caring men I know and I don’t tell him enough how much I appreciate that (I guess I should email him a link to my blog

2. My ability to run. It seriously keeps my stress and sanity in check.

3. This blog. It’s helped immensely. And I love making people laugh

4. All of the support I have gotten from my friends, even though I’ve had a tendency to be crabby more often than usual in the last few months

5. Pinterest. Because how else would I find funny and ridiculous relevent pictures to share?

Happy Turkey Day Everyone!

Week 8 – The best laid plans

Week 8 -15 miles 6.2 miles plus softball (will explain below) And I obviously still think I’m a week ahead of where I actually am.

A friend of mine moved to Antigua recently (rough life,right?) and was going to be back in town this weekend. So I signed up for the James Island Connector run so I’d have a chance to hang out for a bit and maybe even get a new 10k PR. So the plan was run the race yesterday, run 9 miles today for the total of 15. Cheating a bit but not a big deal.

                                                          Prior to the evil

So let me just start by saying that the JI Connector Run is completely evil.

Anyone living in Charleston knows its flat as a pancake here, so hill training? Doesn’t exist. I went into this thinking I could totally kick some butt until I realized connector = bridge = hills. DUH.

And let’s not forget the wind! The course starts downtown, goes over the connector, and back.

The run didn’t start out bad, actually. The hills kinda sucked but weren’t anything I couldn’t deal with. And the wind wasn’t so bad either. I actually finished the first 5k in 22 min and some change.At one point there was a break in my music and I could hear a couple guys behind me talking about needing energy for the 2nd half. And I remember thinking that it couldn’t be that bad – its just the same thing going back.

Then we turned around.

It was then that I determined that whoever was responsible for the course must have had some revenge to be had on someone. Because the wind (head wind, mind you) coupled with the hills on the way back were INSANE. I actually ran so hard against the wind going up the hill once, that when it stopped abruptly for a few seconds, I lost my footing.

Then there was the time I got a little too close to the side barrier. (Hi fishies!)

I stopped running and walked up the hill for about 20 seconds also. I passed a girl walking once and almost gave her some words of encouragement to keep going, but I was so out of breath it wasn’t happening. I was especially glad for this when she passed me 20 seconds later, but fortunately still didn’t have the breath to mutter anything mean (in good humor, of course), either.  So no PR for me. Also? I was THREE SECONDS behind the girl who won 3rd place in my age group. I totally would have vomited across the finish line to beat her if I had known the girl in front of me was between me and winning a ridiculous useless trophy.

Oh well.

The plan afterwards was to take pictures with funny orange slice smiles, but since they only had whole oranges, we had to improvise a little.

But Kim won an award, so go Kim!!

I get home from the race and I’m tired, but expected that. Around 4pm though I started getting what I can only guess was sinus pressure. Great.

Bryan and I went out to the store, and on the way home he decided it would be funny to drive the long way around the neighborhood and see if our garage door opener opened up anyone else’s garage.

It didn’t.

Last night we went out to dinner with our neighbors thanks to a Groupon we both purchased. We spent the evening being generally ridiculous, topped with Bryan signing up for email updates under the following name:

Thanks to generally feeling kinda cruddy I went to bed at 9pm. When I woke up this morning I felt better, but worn down, had swollen glands, a sore throat and while I didn’t have a fever, had a temp that was slightly higher than usual.

While hemming and hawing about running vs not running, I came across a paper Bryan got in the mail encouraging him to sign up for additional accident insurance.

I guess they can’t write “in case an accident causes you to suddenly DIE”, but still, the wording was quite funny.

In the end, I’m here blogging now instead of running. My buddy didn’t sleep well last night and I have two softball games this afternoon. I know I don’t have enough energy for both. So, no long run for me this weekend.

Maybe a nap, though.

Week 5 – Rough Runs Happen (The First Wall)

Week 5 – 12 miles 11.6 miles + one softball game

We were tired today. I hate getting up when its still pitch black outside. Lynnsey also ran a race yesterday, and I for some unknown reason have just felt worn out the last couple of days. I think this weeks’ picture summarizes us quite well:

We are sleepy.

While she finished getting ready, I grabbed some M & Ms. Because M & Ms are good ANY time of day, especially 7am.

 

 

 

 

 

Yum.

Unfortunately, as it also happens in races, I think I’ve hit my first “wall”. It was just a tough run. We only went .6 miles over last week and it felt like much longer. Plus, the backs of my legs started to feel super tight around mile 9 or so. That in addition to some tummy rumbles, and Lynnsey’s fatigue from the race yesterday made for a rough run. I know for a fact we got slower as we went along.

Walls suck. They make you wonder why you signed up for this gig. I’m only at week 5 and already feeling kinda blah? I don’t remember hitting one last year, but it was my first marathon, and I didn’t really start training until probably 12 weeks before (plus my brain probably blocked it out). This year I’m following an 18 week plan. Thank goodness for running buddies, they make the whole thing so much easier! I’m hoping next weeks’ half marathon and a slightly shorter run the week after will help get me back into gear.   But we finished, so that’s what counts!

On the topic of tired, I enjoyed part of this mornings’ conversation centering around our husbands’ tendencies to talk in their sleep. Last night I happened to be awake and had the following “conversation” with mine:

Bryan: fertilized eggs

Me: huh?

Bryan: fertilized eggs….they become a zygote?

Me: (I can’t remember for sure but I reply anyway) uh-huh

Bryan: Then what do they become? A bastard?

Me: I think maybe an embryo? (Again, I don’t remember for sure)

Bryan: Oh. Hey, are we both talking in our sleep?

Me: No, you are. I’m awake.

He had no recollection of this conversation this morning.

Good thing he wasn’t getting up to run.

 

A Random Post

A few things I’ve learned over the course of this week:

• When you travel, always check your bags for scorpions (apparently Mid-Western travelers may unknowingly be carrying them in their bags)
• It’s a bad idea to try to suck snake venom from a snake bite (per our CPR instructor today)

                                                   (That’s a no-no if you’ve been bitten by a snake)

• If you’re thinking about other things while reading email or driving, you may accidentally mis-read words. For example “Afllac” may appear to be “attack” and “Beware survey crew” may appear as “beware screwy curves”
• Only being able to find one slipper is rather unfortunate for the uncovered foot.
• When your husband agrees to post his daily schedule on your shared Google calendar, be prepared when you check it to find jokes like the following:
• 8-9:30 am: Organize Porn Collection

• Watching the movie “Contagion” will make you never want to touch anything or anyone ever again

 

In other “news”

For anyone unfamiliar with the new IPhone4S, it has  new feature on it called “Siri”, a voice activated system that is pretty sweet. You can ask it questions like “What’s the weather like in Charleston?” and it will tell you, it will text for you and it will find facts for you. A friend of mine, branding her brand new phone today, asked Siri the following questions:

Friend: Where can I hide a dead body?

Siri: What kind of place are you looking for? (lists options like reservoir and river)

Friend: Reservoir

Siri: The nearest reservoir is 10 miles away

Friend: Will you have sex with me?

Siri: I don’t think that would work very well.

Friend: How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood?

Siri: Don’t you have anything better to do?

Ok that’s hysterical. And I want one.