Dear Babies

Dear Babies,

Tomorrow is your eviction birth day. I say eviction because it sounds funny but in reality am still so glad we made it to full term…and some beyond! To be honest I’m not sure the reality has sunk in yet. I can’t believe  that you will both be here in less than 24 hours. That we will be holding, feeding (well I’ll be attempting feeding) and snuggling the both of you. That you’ll have a line of family and friends waiting to visit you. That today is the last day it will feel like aliens in my tummy. The last day of hiccups. The last day watching my stomach move. Even this morning I looked at my reflection in the mirror with my big belly where you are both living, and stared at it in wonder for awhile.

I get asked all the time if I/we are ready. Even after 3 years of infertility I can’t definitively answer that question. As soon to be new parents we only know whats in store in theory. I’m sure there will be thousands of both challenges and rewards to come parenting twins. The reality is that we’re as ready as we’re gonna be – and I think that is ok.

I can tell you both a few things for sure. I can tell you that I’ve dreamt about your birth day for the last 3 years. I’ve imagined first kisses, first cries, first snuggles with daddy. I’ve imagined comforting you both when you cry, and I’ve imagined crying with you when I can’t figure out WHY you’re both crying. (Hey I’m a realist here) I’ve imagined laughing when I’ve been peed on for the 10th time in one day. Or maybe crying. I guess it just depends on how that day went otherwise. I’ve imagined first smiles. And because I’m a total nerd, I’ve imagined our first jogging expedition as the three of us, hoping you’ll both enjoy it as much as I do. I’ve imagined Bryan as a daddy – taking care of you, playing with you, taking you both on outings. I’ve imagined both of your personalities and wonder who will be most like me and who will be most like Bryan.  Even though I’m admittedly nervous I imagine all of that and deep down I know that even though we’ll often feel overwhelmed we will be ok. We will be a family.

Tomorrow marks what will probably be the most life changing day the both of us will ever experience. We can’t wait to meet the both of you – our two children who have been present and living in our hearts for the past 3+ years. The ones who made the difficult journey worthwhile. The ones that are absolutely worth the wait.

See you tomorrow.

Love,

Mommy (and Daddy)

 

Stuff I Want My Kids to Know #4: Pride Isn’t Just for Lions

Ok, so I realize that the use of pride and lions isn’t really in the correct context for what I’m shooting for here. A lion’s pride really refers to a social group while the type of pride I’m referring to is about pride in yourself, but the title sounded catchy and I liked it, so there.

I wrote about my dads eulogy for my grandfather a couple of months back. Since I wasn’t able to make the trip up for the services I asked him to send it to me so I could read it. One paragraph in particular struck me, and I have to say I almost laughed a little.

I see life as more about the little things. That isn’t to say I don’t get wrapped up in the big things (i.e. infertility) but generally feel like if you spend all of your time worrying about the big things you’re going to miss something. It was a series of little things that contributed to the decline of my first marriage and that isn’t something that I’d care to repeat. In fact in hindsight most major life events can be, in my opinion, tied together by the little things that came before it. It is why I am big on compliments and like to periodically give little gifts. It is also why I find myself feeling strangely proud of the weirdest things: cleaning the kitchen, making my husband breakfast (which generally consists of heating a bowl of oatmeal in the microwave, my workout schedule, planting a few flowers in the front yard.

I almost laughed a little because this is what my dad wrote:

“He always took pride in everything he did.  As many a teacher will attest, even the blackboards at the school were so clean you could not see a speck of chalk dust on them.  He would say to me a job worth doing is a job worth doing well.  Well, he actually didn’t say that, it was more like, Butch, if you’re going to do something no matter what it is or how small a job it is, do it right.  It says a lot about you.

Years later in the Marine Corps I was using a floor buffer.  I was taking delight in how great my newly waxed floor was buffing up, for I had many hours of practice on the buffer on the basement floor of this church.  I said to one of my buddies hey look how nice this floor looks, taking pride in my work.  He said, “Izzy why do you take pride in doing a good job on such a menial task.  I looked him right in the eye and said.  If you are going to do something no matter what it is or how small a job it is, do it right, it says a lot about you.  He looked back at me and I could see he was thinking about that.  He said you know I never really looked at it that way.”

Strangely I don’t remember ever having a conversation about this and yet it was something I found I followed anyway – taking pride in what you do, regardless of how big or small it is.

Get an A on a test? Be proud.

Clean your room? Be proud.

Accomplish something big? Be proud.

I know mom and dad will be.

Practicing Kindness

Catching our Rainbow had a fabulous idea involving a consistent post where we take any one of the various lies we tell ourselves and metaphorically throw it out the window (though if we could literally throw it out the window it would be much more fun). As individuals who have gone through/are undergoing infertility, we really need to be nicer to ourselves. Quite frankly, though, I think this really fits for most of us on a regular basis regardless of what we are going through – we all tend to be a bit too hard on ourselves.

The point was that it was supposed to be a Kindness Friday, but clearly it is no longer Friday. I am slacking – partially because I wasn’t exactly sure how to introduce this concept – using lies I used to tell myself through infertility treatments or the ones I find myself stuck in now that we are expecting babies in a few weeks (yikes!!)

I decided to start with past as I feel this is really important, particularly today when everyone is posting pics of their kids with their baskets and eggs (and I’m not saying you shouldn’t, just saying that if you are in the middle of fertility treatments they can be hard to see). In hindsight you often see more clearly and in this case it was no different. If you haven’t yet gotten how infertility can really take you over, let me share 3 lies I used to tell myself, ones that I think we’ve probably all told ourselves at some point in time. I may be pregnant now but that does not mean I will ever forget the roller coaster we rode on for 3 years to get here.

If I can’t have children, I must not deserve them.

• I have to say that it doesn’t help here when (well meaning) people remind you constantly to relax or how young you are, because then it feels as if you are doing something wrong.But the bigger issue is that we’ve somehow convinced ourselves that we don’t deserve children. That kind of thought makes you feel like less of a person. On the contrary – we (infertiles) are some of the strongest people I know. And while I realize its MUCH easier to speak in hindsight, QUIT DOING THAT NONSENSE. It’s simply not even close to true. And I’d be happy to remind anyone  just how strong they really are.

I must have done something in my past and infertility is my punishment.

• I won’t lie when I say that I wondered if I was being punished somehow for my failed first marriage and all that came with it. The fact is that infertility is due to a series of physical issues on one or both sides that have absolutely NOTHING to do with ANYTHING you might have thought, said, or done in the past. I had to remind myself of this, and yet still found it difficult.

I must be infertile because it means I’d be a bad parent

• Bullshit.

We all need to be kinder to ourselves.

Next week I’ll actually try to post on Friday…..

The Great Big Vehicle Resolution

Continued from The Great Big Vehicle Debacle….

We drove to see the Acadia as mentioned that day. It was a 2007 – leather seats, backup sensor. When we got to the house of the people who were selling it I was pretty excited. I mean, this could be the resolution to my super solid ” I just don’t like minivans” argument I kept throwing out.

It was fabulous. Captains chairs in the 2nd row. Easy access to the third, good amount of cargo space in the back and drove really well. We made arrangements to have to taken to our mechanic to give it a once over and I left smiling from ear to ear.

Until we got home that night and received a text saying the car they were going to trade up for was no longer available for them, therefore they would not be selling the car.

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!

As it turns out, upon some further research we found a good many complaints about the transmissions for that year and the 2008s. I kept looking for newer models, determined to find another. In the meantime, we had the fully loaded minivan sent to our mechanic to look it over. He couldn’t find a darn thing wrong with it.

Drat.

Not quite willing to give up yet, though, I said I wanted to search for one more day. So we got up early the following Saturday morning and made our way down to the dealerships. We drove around 3 or 4 or them. I looked longingly at Acadia’s but they either didn’t have the 3rd row or were a 2008 (I do have to say I know people who have Acadias who did not have any issues and loved them). We peeked in a Toyota Highlander with a third row but were put off by an odd smell and moved on. One lady from a Hyundai dealership offered to do a search for us for SUV’s with captains chairs and a 3rd row seat, and came up with nothing.

It seemed the van had won.

BUT I asked Bryan to take a trip back to the Toyota dealership one more time. We peeked in a NEW Highlander this time and it appeared to have everything we needed, (it had a middle seat in the second row but was removable) except that it had abysmal cargo space with the third row up. I decided I wanted to test drive it (the used one) anyway.  And I loved it. But would our double stroller fit into the back with the third row up? They let us drive it home to test it out. I wish I had a video of the two of us attempting to maneuver this giant stroller into this tiny space – taking pieces off, moving wheels, opening the back window – it was pretty amusing. We eventually got it in, but only if we placed it in the “trunk” with the third row down, closed the back and then pushed the 3rd row up again, and even then it didn’t completely click into place. (but we got it IN!)

We drove back and I was feeling a bit defeated but decided ultimately that we’d need both the 3rd row AND the stroller only on rare occasions since our families lived out of town and decided to go for it anyway. We signed a bill of sale and left it there so they could fix some things.

Then when I got home that evening I found a double stroller FRAME that still fits two car seats and folds up much smaller than the whole big stroller. According to the dimensions, it’ll fit.

Score.

And now, ladies and gentlemen, we are the proud owners of our new parent thug mobile:

I’m being all thug and sh*t

Best part of all? I love it. Bryan loves it. And, its not a minivan.*

*this said all tongue in cheek of course, in the grand scheme of things I would have happily driven these babies in a minivan

 

The Grandfather Passage

The Grandfather Passage is a reading passage sometimes used in the field of Speech Therapy, usually with adults. It doesn’t make a ton of sense as a story when read line by line, but is used to assess things like speech fluency and voice. The first line begins “you wish to know all about my grandfather….”

Trips to my grandparents were fairly frequent when I was little. I called them Pap and Precious. Apparently I started calling her precious because she would comment on something I did or said that was precious and so I called her that once and the name stuck. I can’t remember why Pap was Pap but pretty much everyone called him that. When we visited he and I would often take walks to get the newspaper and I’d sometimes get candy from Warfield’s, the local store. I really enjoyed those walks. That stopped at some point, I assume because I was probably too cool for that. Then of course as I got older we didn’t visit as much, particularly during college and once I had moved to South Carolina.

During our trip to Ohio at Christmas we traveled to Pennsylvania to visit him at the nursing home. We did the same the year before, and Bryan was able to meet him and my aunt for the first time. Wheelchair bound and suffering from dementia  but still able to able to converse, still mostly cognizant. Christmas 2011

I’ve said before that it’s crazy what difference a year can make. After a bout of aspiration pneumonia which landed him in the hospital, he had just returned to the home a few days before. He knew about the pregnancy and I had shared the news of the sexes with my aunt during his hospital stay, and he declared their names should be Isadore and Isabel.  Unfortunately the day we visited he was not very responsive and I wasn’t sure at first if he even knew who I was. He hadn’t eaten much and was running a fever. At one point, though, he looked over at me and pointed at my belly. He knew. It made me sad that he probably wouldn’t ever get to meet them in person, as we expected this would be his last Christmas.

As the days went on his health continued to decline and eventually two or three days ago  he stopped eating.  Bryan and I are not regular pray-ers, but we did that night for him, my aunt, my dad, and the family in general.

When my phone rang this morning and read “Dad” on the screen, we knew. He had passed about 7 this morning. It was time. His passage from earth was expected, but all the same hard to hear.

As I left for my walk later this morning I thought of the ones we used to take together. Today’s walk was me, the dogs, my IPOD and Pap….with the periodic shout at the dog to stop pulling me.

We miss you down here, but know you are happy up there. Now, you can walk with me and the babies every morning.

2012 Recap

Using the same format I used in 2011, a recap of 2012:

1. What did you do in 2012 that you’d never done before?

•  PR’d my marathon
• Gave myself multiple injections
• I got a tattoo on my foot, partly because of this infertility journey
• Saw my first ever positive pregnancy test
• Attempted to go skydiving – unfortunately it didn’t happen

2. Did you keep your new year’s resolutions, and will you make more for next year?

2012

• Get pregnant! (darn it!) – WOO HOO!
• PR 2 more race distances- even though I didn’t run the last 4 months of the year I still managed to pull this one off! – WOO HOO
• Live more in the present – the jury is still out on this one
• Take a vacation – took a mini vacation to St. Augustine – not sure if this counts.
• Find a church- didn’t happen

2013

• Run a half marathon distance (or race) before the end of the year (after taking 10 months off, not sure how long this goal will take to achieve!)
• Live more in the present – I’m keeping this one with the babies coming – if I need this one I need it now more than ever as I am sure they will grow like weeds and one day I’ll wake up and wonder where the time went
• Be the best mom I can be
• Be flexible

3. Did anyone close to you give birth?


• Jenny gave birth to Landon in the fall
• Megan S. had Harper this summer
• Jenna had Nolan in the fall
• Tiffany is due in a few weeks (again not in 2012 but close enough)
• Megan H. had Lucas early this year

4. Did anyone close to you die?


• A good friend of mine committed suicide this summer

5. What countries did you visit?

• Does Ohio count? Because its a really long drive.

6. What would you like to have in 2013 that you lacked in 2012?

• Job stability

7. What dates from 2011 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?

• January 14 – crossed the finish line of my second marathon. My favorite picture of this year was taken that day
  • 
  • February 20 – Bryan burns himself making fried chicken.  A trip to the VA ER is made.
  • March 11 – I learn that I have been running incorrectly – for the last 10 years. I spent the better part of the next few months trying to fix this
  • May 8 (ish) – Natalie graduates from college and we have a super fun weekend with contact paper in the process. We take pictures showing our immense maturity.
  • May 12( ish) – I decide to let go a little. We build a fence. We buy a new washer and dryer. We replace the downstairs floor.
  • Memorial Day – Rachel gets married. I get to be in the wedding. YAY
  • July 12 – Our IUI cycle is canceled.I AM PISSED.
  • July 28 – I get my second tattoo
  • August 1 – I begin BC pills for the IVF
  • August 19- my 30th birthday. I attempted to make it big by skydiving, but it got canceled. Twice. I play a long weekend of softball tournament instead. We win.
  • September 18 – my first ever positive pregnancy test
  • October 4- we learn that both eggs stuck – we are having twins!
  • December 14 – we learn that Bubbles and Squishy are a girl and a boy!
  • December 25 – we publicly announce the boy and girl news

8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?


• Finishing the marathon. Even though I’ve done this once, training sucks so much out of you that I consider both a huge accomplishment
• Finally letting go a little (see above)
• WOO HOO we’re pregnant!

9. What was your biggest failure?

• Spending over half the year worrying and stressing about getting pregnant. I’m not even sure how much time I wished and stressed away. (unfortunately this still holds true from the year before – though I think I did better overall this year)

10. Did you suffer illness or injury?

• Other than the standard infertility and allergies, not really.

11. What was the best thing you bought?

• New floors!!

12. Where did most of your money go?

• Mortgage and bills, IVF

13. What did you get really excited about?

• Running races, pregnancy

14. What song will always remind you of 2012

• songs remind me more of events than years. So I guess maybe Titanium.

15. Compared to this time last year, are you:


• – happier or sadder? happier!
• – thinner or fatter?  HA Fatter!
• – richer or poorer? About the same

16. What do you wish you’d done more of?


• Vacations – mini or otherwise

17. What do you wish you’d done less of?


• Stress about money – everything turned out to be fine

18. How did you spend Christmas?

•  Went to Ohio to visit my mom, dad, sister, grandfather and aunt. It may very well be his last Christmas this year.

19. What was your favorite TV program?

• Modern Family
• Dexter
• Sister Wives
• Breaking Amish

20. What were your favorite books of the year?

• 50 Shades of Grey ( I know, I know ). I was lame and did not read much this year.

21. What was your favorite music from this year?


• The new Muse album
• Maroon 5 – One More Night
• Ace of Base – I resurrected this one
• Bruno Mars – Locked out of Heaven
• Titanium – David Guetta

22. What were your favorite films of the year?

• The Hunger Games
• Flight
• Seeking a Friend for the End of the World

23. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?

• The big 30! I was supposed to go skydiving with a friend, but it was canceled due to weather. We ended up having dinner where B and I got engaged with a few friend who could make it last minute, and spent a night downtown.

24. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?

• You know…..nothing.

25. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2012?

• I so don’t care. I just buy what I think is cute. And on sale. Bonus if its both.

26. What kept you sane?

• My husband
• My friends
• Reading
• Running
• Blogging

27. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2012.


• Expect the unexpected. Sometimes there just isn’t a good reason why things happen. In the end, though, I think it all turns out ok. At least it better.

A Christmas Surprise

We cheated.

This is a pretty smart idea

Image source

After a Google search early on the in the pregnancy I discovered that there was a local place that specifically does extra ultrasounds….and claimed they could figure out the sex as early as 16 weeks. Not only did I really want to know what we were having, but we also hadn’t seen the babies since the 8 week ultrasound when the babies were the size of gummy bears. I couldn’t resist. I just couldn’t. Plus, this would give the opportunity to reveal the sexes to my parents on Christmas. I had originally planned to schedule it right before we left, around 17+2, but when I called the lady told me more often that not with twins one doesn’t cooperate and so you’ll have to go back. (If they can’t figure it out the first time they’ll do another for free within 14 days) So we actually scheduled it for 16+2, just in case.

The business, called See Me 3D, was a mere 10 minutes away and operated out of an old house. Basically it was a little waiting area and then a larger room with a ultrasound machine that projected onto a large TV on the wall. The entire thing was recorded onto a DVD set to classical music, and included 2d and 3d images. I’d always thought 3d ultrasounds looked a little on the creepy side, and actually still do, but when its your baby/babies up there, its much more miraculous than creepy.

As instructed I consumed my coffee (caffeine to help them be movers) and felt appropriately hyped up and hopped up on the table. The lovely cold goo was squeezed onto my stomach – my first ever non dildo wand ultrasound.

Wow.

The babies – they looked like babies. Like little humans. With arms and legs, noses and eyes. I was mesmorised by the bones, the spine, the fact that I could see two brain hemispheres. It was just about the coolest thing ever. In fact I kept commenting on how cool it was that  I could see all of that. And they were moving.

They didn’t cooperate well at first. One had legs crossed and the other with a hand over the money shot. After about 10 minutes she had me get up to pee and try again, saying sometimes it’ll create a little more room.

It worked.

We saw Baby A first. A boy.

Baby B took a bit more wriggling. But in the end she finally gave up too. A girl.

A boy and a girl.

Bubbles and Squishy are a boy and a girl.

How perfect.

Yay one of each!

Later on we bought the two bears seen above- Bryan made the tags. We wrapped them up and gave them to my parents to unwrap at Christmas. My mom was totally surprised. My dad said he suspected we might, as apparently one of us mentioned having some sort of special present to open. Considering I barely managed to keep my mouth shut for the week and a half beforehand, I’m surprised neither of us said anything more.

Best Christmas Ever.

 

Road Trip Adventures

Its really nice that its Monday and I don’t have to go to work. It sucks that my stupid internal body clock has be up at 6:30 anyway.

Thanks to the whole week off, we traveled to Ohio for Christmas again this year.

It’s cold in Ohio.

Actually, it started out cold somewhere in Virginia. After leaving an hour later than planned and getting stuck in traffic, we ended up having to spend the night at a Red Roof Inn because the wind and weather was getting so bad. So our normal 10-11 hour trip took 24 hours. And the adventures started early.

The dogs love car rides, and typically are practically in the car before we even manage to get the doors open. Despite the fact that I grew up in Ohio I felt suddenly shell shocked by this white cold stuff called snow and jumped in the car after Bryan packed it, cranked up the heat and shivered like a sissy. We start to pull out of the parking space and something catches me out of the corner of my eye.

Its Charlie.

He’s walking beside the car.

OH MY GOD CHARLIE ISN’T IN THE CAR!

We almost left my dog outside the hotel. After letting him in he refused to leave the corner of the backseat for the next 3 hours. Not that I could blame him.

we are comfy

Luckily the remainder of the trip went off without much drama – except for the constant pee and walk stops. In fact, at the first Ohio rest area we found this cute little mini snowman, and it made me miss snow for, like, half a second.

aren’t I cute?

Can I just say that I am SO glad I’m not training for a marathon this year and am not stuck running a 20 miler up here. I lucked the heck out last year when it turned out to be nearly 40 degrees. This year there is already snow on the ground and I’m dragging myself out of the house bundled up like the kid out of A Christmas Story just to go for a walk. (Though that’s partly because my coat barely buttons over my belly….). Our bigger dog, Chance loves the snow but Charlie hates it, and made poor Bryan chase him down the street after a walk last night because he was so desperate to get inside. In fact, for reasons that no one really understands, Charlie is not a huge fan of my dad, but hated the snow so much he let him carry him around the block on a walk recently.

Say Cheese! You too, Charlie

So we are here, its Monday already and I’m sure the week is going to fly by, but its nice.

And cold.

 

 

My Life In Numbers

A good blog friend posted this idea and I liked it so much I decided to copy it.

I think we all like numbers for different reasons. When you think about it, numbers represent many things in our lives: lists, ages, birthdays, kids, finances…the list goes on.

My life (so far) in numbers:

2 is

• The number of houses I lived in during childhood.
• The number of times I have been married.
• The number of houses I’ve owned (or co owned).
• The number marathons I have completed.
• The number of states I have lived in.
• The number of instruments I’ve learned how to play fairly proficiently.
• And, as luck would have it, the number of children we are currently expecting.
• Apparently 2 is a significant number.

22 is the age I was when I first got married.

27 is the age I was divorced

4 (hours) is my ultimate marathon finishing goal

17 is the number of race medals and trophys I’ve collected

13 was when I got my first pair of glasses

23 is my favorite number

843 is my area code

28 is the age I finally, officially got over my body image issues

6 pairs of jeans regularly lie in my dresser drawer

3-4 is the number of times my house should be vacuumed each week, thanks to dog hair

2 is the number of times it realistically happens

10 is the time I am usually in bed

7 is about the latest I can sleep in, regardless of when I went to bed

25 minutes is the length of my daily commute

82k is the number of miles on my not quite four year old car (sheesh)

5 is the number of years I’ve been a Speech Therapist

In that time I’ve had 3 jobs…my current job the one I’ve been employed with the longest

26 is the age that I got my first tattoo

29 (nearly 30) when I got my 2nd

31 is when I’ll likely get my 3rd, and probably final, added to my 2nd

1,500 is about the number of text messages sent and received on my phone each month

Nearly 1000 days before our first positive pregnancy test

0 is the number of people that I would like to see suffer from infertility

But at this point, wouldn’t change the story.

What I Like About You

Today is mine and hubs’ anniversary. (Tiffany, did I get the grammar right this time?) When we decided to get married on September 11, albeit 9 years later, I questioned this choice, wondering if it would seem callous. But, my friend had a point when she said that it could more of a symbol of new beginnings and moving forward.

I’ve been so wrapped up in all of this IVF stuff that when he called me last night and said “Happy Anniversary Tomorrow”!, I responded with “oh yeah, that’s tomorrow”. (In my defense, I remembered it when he was here for the egg retrieval – and is another case in point as to why I never get birthday or other related cards out on time, because I always remember at strange times)

Keeping somewhat in tune with Stupid Stork’s “A Weird Little Glimpse into my Marriage” theme (because I’m cheating a little and because I’m technically a day late….but not a dollar short, so I think this helps my case), today’s post is about my husband.

We met on Match.com

No, I’m not kidding. I opened an account seriously not expecting anything, and found the idea to be rather strange. But since I’m not a bar hopper, sports lover or avid church goer,  I gave it shot. The site annoyed me even more because it allowed you to “wink” at people you might be interested in, and I thought any guy who couldn’t get up the courage to send me even a  message over the internet vs clicking  stupid little button surely wasn’t worth my time. I mean seriously? You don’t even have to actually walk up and talk to me. It’s a computer. Don’t be stupid and wink at me.

He winked at me.

Perhaps I was feeling snarky that day, but against my better judgement and for reasons that I STILL don’t understand, I winked back, simultaneously rolling my eyes. (boy that would be a talent, wouldn’t it?). He won some bonus points when a little chat window immediately popped up. At least he wasn’t going to spend the whole night virtually winking at me, making me wonder if he has virtual eye spasms.

We tried this for a few minutes but the site was having issues, so we tried Facebook. When THAT was having issues, I suggested we try the phone. He sent me his number and I dialed.

He didn’t answer.

What is WITH this guy?

A few seconds later he called back – he couldn’t remember where he had left his phone, a habit that will continue and annoy me to no end in the years to come. After speaking on the phone for a bit I suggested we meet up, as I am not a fan of talking on the phone. We met at Barnes and Noble and talked till it closed. Then we stood in the parking lot an hour after it closed. We went out on a “real” date the next day and from then was attached at the hip. We dated for a year, were engaged for 3 weeks, and got married in my best friends living room. I bought a tea length dress on sale and we found wedding bands at a pawn shop a mere 2 hours before we got married. Sometimes the best weddings are the one planned at the last minute

Aren’t we cute?

I love this one

And now, him, in bullets:

• He is a fabulous cook, which is awesome because I HATE cooking. When he’s not here I live on frozen meals, oatmeal, pizza and cereal. I’m simply too lazy
• When he lacks sleep, he gets in silly moods and mumbles about things that make absolutely no sense. I mean they are in English, but they make no sense.
• He doesn’t sing along to lyrics, he sings along to to the sound effects in the background
• He can NEVER find his phone/keys/wallet. Sometimes all three. No matter how many times I suggest he put them in the same place when he gets home so they won’t get lost. There is always a last minute search for the wallet as we are walking out the door, usually accompanied with a “hey babe – do you know where my wallet is?” Why yes, I do, I just prefer to send you on a wild goose chase.
• I don’t like to spend money on myself, and when I do I tend to feel guilty. So when I come home and tell on myself, his response is “good girl” (and not at all sarcastically either). I still find this amazing
• He is extremely complimentary. He tells me I’m beautiful constantly. And even after all *I* have put them through with this infertility mess, when we got home from the egg retrieval he told me he was proud of me, and thanked me for putting my body through all of this just to have his babies (cue:  melt). He has been 100% supportive all the way through.
• I like to mess with him when he is sleeping. Once, we had an entire conversation. He went to  bed early that night and suddenly I heard “what if it doesn’t fit in the box??!” Stunned, amused, and unaware he was still sleeping, I responded “WTF are you talking about?” He repeats “what if it doesn’t fit in the box?!”. Still confused but unsure how to respond I replied “I have no idea”. He responds “you should know you work there!!” (Turns out he was dreaming about being in the UPS store, renting a mailbox and wanted to know what would happen if the package didn’t fit in the box)
• He is right on par with my “that’s what she said” jokes.
• He once sounded a bit too excited when asking me why I was recording the XXX Olympics and how that must be a kind of “special” olympics . A few second later it dawned on  me and I responded that the XXX was the 30th Olympic Games.
• He’s a handyman! He installed our floors and fence!
• He makes up songs with me that have lyrics that make no sense
• He doesn’t like to put the silverware away
• 
• He’s going to make a great dad, and I can’t wait to make him one
• I still sometimes can’t believe we are married

Happy Anniversary, hubby.
(And on the IVF front, we learned today that we have 8 embryos will be frozen! And I feel totally normal. If I didn’t have the pics of embryos on my fridge I would have thought it never happened)