Ho Ho Humbug

I love holidays usually. And birthdays. My birthday typically involves my running around reminding everyone that my birthday is coming up and asking people to do things for me because its my “birthday week”.  I love buying Christmas presents (though I’m horrible at wrapping them) and the big dinners and parties and cookies.

Not this year. I am not into the holidays at all.

                                                                 (Thanks Pinterest)

I’m looking forward to seeing my family and visiting with friends I haven’t seen in awhile, but I don’t feel like decorating, I don’t care to make cookies, and parties? No thanks.

My Christmas spirit seems to have run away. Probably with my patience.

I feel like a Scrooge.

I guess it’s because, no matter how good I’ve been this year, Santa is probably not carrying a baby in his sleigh.

Bryan gets his results from his 4th SA on Wednesday. Hopefully Santa can at least bring me some good news.

 

 

Week 11 – They See Me Runnin. They Hatin.

Week 11 – 18 miles.

I was browsing Pinterest this morning before my run and found this gem again:

Just insert running in for rolling and there you go.

I ran with John, aka “the one who runs faster” again this week, and with an additional mile added I noted that I probably need to run a bit slower to avoid screaming calves part 2. (and subsequently, sitting on frozen veggies, part 2). We ran on a nearby trail today, through a neighborhood (soon to be known as the circle of hell), down more of the trail, back through the circle of hell and back to the car.

Yes. To the car. I drove somewhere to run. I get how stupid that sounds.

The first few miles were, as usual, pretty uneventful. We talked more about running (man I need a life) and how it can be hard to hear what people are saying while you’re running. So I sometimes just say “yeah” or “I know what you mean” and hope they aren’t saying something like “man I have a huge booger stuck up my nose”. I decided that I hated “the one who runs faster”‘s fancy watch because it beeped every mile and reminded me how far I had left to go.

Around mile 4 we entered the circle of hell. I called it that because it was the longest. two. miles. ever. And not even because I was tired, because we were only 4 miles in, but because it just seemed like it never ended. Plus it had a hill, which was just extra ridiculous. On the plus side, we passed a house that would make a perfect haunted house at Halloween, and when we passed it both times, I sung scary music in my head. And possibly imagined a zombie.

I was thankful for the gas station at mile 8 because it allowed me 3 things. 1. a break 2. a bathroom and 3. an an opportunity to buy some Gatorade and something to chew on. I’m guessing that piling on long run on top of another without a break is wearing on me a little, because I’m already getting tired. So I got some blue Gatorade and fruit Mentos (the freshmaker!) and we were on our way.

Are my legs supposed to be hurting already?

Muscle soreness starts to set in around mile 10 and I basically just try to distract myself by talking. That works until mile 14 when we exit the circle of hell for the second time and “the one who runs faster” decides to do what he does best: run faster. Because I’m going slower.

Yeah you go ahead and have fun with that.

These last 4 miles are the most interesting, because now I’m by myself. I get lazy by myself. One of the first things I do once he’s ahead is walk for a bit. This helps until I try to start up again, because for the first few steps of running again, its actually kinda painful. I catch myself saying “ow” out loud. Since I don’t have my ipod with me this time or anything to distract me from attempting ridiculous song lyrics, I give it another go.

They see me runnin

They hatin

Because they get a whiff of something sweaty and dirty

Yeah I’m smellin and I’m dirty

18 miles, sweaty and dirty

Gonna hug you, sweaty and dirty

Man, I wish I had annoying watch right now, because at least then I would have an idea of how many miles are left. Another runner is crouched down up ahead and I hope that he isn’t planning to kidnap me, because I’m so tired that my only escape possibility would be to scream. Maybe I could bite him? Or kick him where it counts and then limp away? Punch him in the nose?

Then he stops stretching, gets up and continues.

Phew. Crisis averted.

At about mile 17 ( I think ) I start to pass from ow mode into “the point of no return”. AKA I’m completely on auto pilot and God help me if I stop because I probably won’t be able to start running again. I can’t concentrate on anything really so I literally start counting from 1-100 over and over again until I get to the end. I’m at almost 1000 when I see “the one who runs faster” running back towards me. He so kindly turned back so that I didn’t have to run the end by myself and I thanked him by flipping him the bird.

Now don’t yell at me. I really was appreciative that he came back, I was just flipping him off because not only did he finish before me, but he had enough energy to turn around and run some more. I mean, I was counting from 1-100 over and over again for pete’s sake.

He informs me that in order to hit 18 miles, I actually have to run slightly past my car to a nearby telephone pole. And because 17.98 miles just isn’t going to cut it, I do it.

Yay! My car! A shower! I’m done!

I did manage to run a slower pace this week (aka, was forced to by fatigue), and managed to avoid screaming calves part 2, but unfortunately am still going too fast for the full race since I was as tired as I was at the end. 9:16min/mile today.

2 LONG runs down, 2 to go.

And I totally want a shirt that says: They see me runnin. They hatin.

Thanks and Thorns

Something happened. A few days ago it was Halloween. Then I blinked and it was Thanksgiving.

Scary because they say time only goes faster as you get older.

So it’s a day of Thanks, and my visit from Aunt Flo came. And, like other annoying relatives, showed up early and unannounced. The perpetual thorn of infertility is particularly stabby today. So while I’m certainly NOT saying I that I’m not blessed or don’t have things to be thankful for, I’m not feeling particularly thankful right now, (except for Ibproufen) but I’m gonna try.

I did get a pleasant surprise last night, though. An understanding hubby took me out for chocolate cake.  We also went to Target for a book….and walked out with like 10 things (see, I told you), and I was apparently nominated for a blog award. Cool!

I recall seeing this little guy on other blogs I’d visited and thought ” I wonder how I get a blog award”

The idea behind this particular one is the word Leibster, the German word for beloved or favorite. It’s designed particularly for blogs with 200 followers or less (when I read this I thought – people seriously have 200 followers? Mine just doubled to 13 and I was really excited!) to encourage further attention and followers. It is a bit chain-letter-y, which I’m usually not into, but frankly I was excited to think there was someone out there who liked my blog enough to nominate me, and I figured it would be a cool thing to do for someone else. Plus now I get that cool pic up there to put on my sidebar

My nominator, Daydreaming in Progress, totally made my day yesterday.

The rules:

1. Copy and paste the award on your blog.
2. Thank the giver and link back to the blogger who gave it to you.
3. Reveal your top 5 picks and let them know by leaving a comment on their blog.
4. Hope that your followers will spread the love to other bloggers.

My top 5: (and my apologies if I pick you and you already have 200 followers, I couldn’t find anything that indicated the number)

1. Relaxed No More- an infertility blog. We seem to have a similar sense of humor

2. The Elusive Second Line – a blog about infertility. She’s been very supportive of my own blog and I’m happy to pass the support along!

3. Running in Mommyland – a blog about a mom training for her first marathon! You go girl! And if I remember correctly, conceived her twins through IVF.

4. Living Our Life in Cycles – I actually found this one (or she found me), through ICLW. A runner taking a break from running to peruse the journey of infertility. Stupid infertility.

5. Running is Magical - fellow runner who recently finished her 2nd ( I think ) half marathon and is currently training for a 3rd.  Way to go!

And even though I’m not in a great mood today, I’m going to share 5 things I’m thankful for:

1. My husband. He’d sell his soul if he knew it would make me happy. He is absolutely one of the most caring men I know and I don’t tell him enough how much I appreciate that (I guess I should email him a link to my blog

2. My ability to run. It seriously keeps my stress and sanity in check.

3. This blog. It’s helped immensely. And I love making people laugh

4. All of the support I have gotten from my friends, even though I’ve had a tendency to be crabby more often than usual in the last few months

5. Pinterest. Because how else would I find funny and ridiculous relevent pictures to share?

Happy Turkey Day Everyone!

Gonna be a long ride

I spend alot of time in my car.

Which is odd because I really don’t like to drive. But since I graduated and started working I’ve had jobs that have required either alot of driving or long commutes. Since I bought my car in April of 2009, I’ve put 62000 miles on it.

That’s alot of driving. Granted, its not all work. It’s been driven to Florida, Ohio, and most notably a trip this summer for some continuing education. I woke up at the hotel the first morning and walked out to my car to find this:

Yeah, that’s underwear. And no, its not mine. Baxter and I (yes, I named my car….don’t judge) have obviously been through alot together.

For my current job I spend about 60% of the time seeing kids in clinic, and 40% of the time either seeing them in their home, or traveling to or from. Fortunately or unfortunately, this leaves me with quite a bit of time to think. Admittedly, I spend alot of it worrying. Mostly about infertility and whether I’m emotionally and financially strong enough for what it might take to have children. Actually it kinda cycles by my cycle. Early on I’m bitter, then hopeful as we move towards ovulation, as we move towards the end I’m a variation of hopeful and sad for the arrival of my unwanted visitor. I’ve imagined so many pregnancy announcement scenarios that I’m pretty much covered if I decide to become like the Duggars. Be prepared, right?

I’m two days from D-Day, and I’m tired of preparatory sadness (yeah, I really do that). So I need to distract myself. In the early morning the radio is a good distraction. I enjoy listening to a local morning show and chuckling at the daily “phone scam”. After that, though, it’s all kind of hit or miss.

Take today for instance:

For the most part I listen to Top 40 type stations. Except I’m pretty sure I don’t hear 40 different songs. Just the same 10 on repeat. I’ve heard Adele so many times that it makes a downlowd-so-I-can-learn-the-words completely unnecessary. After hearing “Move like Jagger” for the 387634th time, I decide it’s time to move on. (moooooooooooove like Jagger!)

Click.

My windows are down so I can’t really hear the music right away. Then I realize I’ve stumbled upon one of the stations that plays nothing but Christmas music from November on. And, ironically, is playing “Its beginning to look alot like Christmas”. Except its 75 degrees outside. (NOT complaining!) It’s been uncharacteristically warm here lately, and if it weren’t for the dead leaves floating around and the invention of the calendar, I would have thought it was Spring. I think we need to write an Its Beginning to Look Alot Like Christmas, South Carolina version:

It’s beginning to look alot like Christmas

Shorts in every store

Take a look at your snowy globe

Drive around with it as you go

Cuz that’s the only way that you’ll see snow

(again, not complaining…..I hate snow. But really, its not beginning to look anything like Christmas in this weather)

Click.

Commercials. UGH. I swear, too, that every station plays commercials at the same time on purpose. Unfortunately multiple clicks later, I’m still listening to commercials. And its trying to get me to buy a car. I’m good to go for awhile, luckily (and even have some spare underwear), but even as much as I try to tune them out, I can’t help but catch some of it. And it’s claiming that it will approve anyone with a job who makes $300 a week! No credit check!

Anyone else no longer confused about why we are in a recession?

To digress a bit, for some reason this reminds me of the TV commercials for antidepressants and the like. “I was still depressed until my doctor recommended such and such and then I really felt better.” Well, that’s awesome (seriously) but then there’s the laundry list of side effects (tell your doctor if you experience tremors, suicidal tendencies or symptoms of stroke….). Yeah, sign me right up.

Actually, maybe they are onto something. You know what commercials could use that disclaimer? Target. Can anyone else not go into Target for 1 thing and come out with 6? I can see it now…..la de da….sale at Target. Then disclaimer (only bring cash if you cannot keep control of your credit card. Maybe shoppers have reported experiencing “how did I end up with this much stuff?” syndrome. This was particularly prevalent in teens and women in their mid thirties….)

Okay, back on topic.

Once I’m finally able to find a (or half of) a good song, I sing along. Whitey Houston eat your heart out. I’ve just about finished my performance and am accepting my thunderous applause when I realize something.

Huh. You know what? I’m at my destination.

Well, maybe it’s a bit delusional but at least I’m not worrying anymore.

 

 

ICLW

Happy ICLW!

I’m a fairly new blogger and this is my first month participating in ICLW. Please bear with me

A little intro: our infertility struggle is shared. I was recently diagnosed with PCOS and a blocked tube. Thankfully I still ovulate on my own. Dh has low sperm count and is currently taking HCG shots in hopes for more swimmers. His first post shot SA showed 5 million. Our last SA showed nearly 10 million swimmers and he is due for another early next week. At this point we are waiting it out to see if they work. Our RE told us that IVF is our only other option right now and we arent in a financial position to do it yet.

I’m a runner also, and have found it to really help me keep my sanity through all of this. Im training for my second marathon while we wait it out (however I will totally take a miracle pregnancy in the meantime). I write about infertility, running and everything but the kitchen sink. So you’ll find a little of everything here! My main goal is to find and share humor in all the frustration. A little laughter always helps.

Hope you like it!

*For anyone who is thinking “what the heck is ICLW?”, its International Comment Leaving Week

Week 10 – Plan B

Week 10 -  17 miles

This week was my first LONG run. All week I’ve been kinda dreading this run. It’s rare that I dread a Saturday, but I was not looking forward to this one. The only consolation was that I wasn’t going to have run it by myself.

Plan A: Run with buddy.

But unfortunately, after recovering from an injury and traveling for a week, she was not feeling up to running the whole thing. So then we agreed that I’d run 6 miles and she’d meet me at my house to run the remaining 11. Okay. Cool.

Except she forgot about a previously planned church activity. Which I’m pretty sure was alot more fun than running for multiple hours.

Meaning I was on my own. Or I needed a Plan B.

Actually, plan B did not involve my dog. Although he probably would have enjoyed running, 17 miles probably would have done him in, if a car didn’t run him over. Or if I didn’t let him off the leash after being pulled for the 12837th time, whichever comes first.

But I digress. So I got in contact with another runner who was, luckily, willing to run 10 with me.

So I ran the first 6 alone. No big deal.  I tend to run along busy roads, because running 17 laps around my neighborhood just doesn’t really appeal to me. (hey! a house! hey, the same house! hey, the same house again!) I’m used to funny looks and honks, but today someone actually slowed down as I was running and shouted out the window “hey, how far are you running?”. Realizing he couldn’t possibly be talking to anyone else and relieved he wasn’t attempting to kidnap me by offering me candy, I answered “17 miles”. Funny that he caught me on my long day. He goes “wow…..I can only run 3.” I said “hey, its still something” and then he wished me a good day and drove away. In all the runs I’ve done, thats the first time someone has actually stopped and talked to me. And didn’t honk or whistle or give me a WTF are you doing? kind of look. (Well, since you’re asking, I’m actually on a spy mission, posing as a long distance runner)

So then I run to John’s house and we continue along. Faster. Crap. I totally forgot that he tends to run like, a minute per mile faster than I do. This should be interesting. But I figure I’ll either keep up or I’ll run some at the end on my own. I try to keep my mind occupied asking about his recent marathon, telling my half marathon story and exchanging other random musings about running, training, and other peoples’ training. (Runners talk about running while running alot – you’d think we would have other things to discuss…you’d be right, but even when we do, the conversation tends to still veer towards running at some point)

I was thankful today for my non squeeze water bottle because it allowed me a few excuses to walk (I need a water break and I don’t want to choke!). I actually felt pretty good until about mile 15, when the back of my legs and calves started to tighten up.

The rest of the run went like this in my head: ow. are we there yet? ow. are we done yet? ow….you get the idea.

It was the final mile that any change in terrain became increasingly difficult. Curbs? Ow. Rocks? Ow. Moving? Ow. I would have expected my lungs to complain, but it was actually my legs. All in all though, it went better than I dreaded, finishing in 2:31:16. or an 8:52 min/mile including a few short drink breaks. Not bad. But definitely too fast for a full marathon pace.

When I got home and cooled down my calves finally decided to really rebel. (Did I mention ow?) After a shower….because not only did I feel like I ran for 17 miles, I also smelled like it, I spent about 30 min on frozen vegetables. (The only time I really appreciate spinach)

That combined with 3 ibproufen and I feel good as new.

Ok that’s a lie.I’m worn out. But at least without calf pain.

And thanks to what I can only guess is running induced amnesia, plan to do it again next week!

Any takers?

You might be from Ohio

To supplement my previous Ohio post, a Facebook friend posted the following and it was too funny to not share:

Here is what Jeff Foxworthy has to say about Ohio..

~If your local Dairy Queen is closed from September through May, you may live in Ohio.

~If someone in a Home Depot store offers you assistance and they don’t even work there, you may live in Ohio.

~If you’ve worn shorts and a jacket at the same time, you may live in Ohio. (yay! Its 50 degrees! Time for shorts!)

~If you’ve had a lengthy telephone conversation with someone who dialed a wrong number, you may live in Ohio. (I have never done this)

~If “vacation” means going anywhere south of Dayton for the weekend, you may live in Ohio. (yup)

~If you measure distance in hours, you may live in Ohio. (Cincinnati is about 4 hours from my parents house)

~If you know several people who have hit a deer more than once, you may live in Ohio.(no)

~If you have switched from ‘heat’ to ‘A/C’ in the same day and back again, you may live in Ohio.(oh yes)

~If you can drive 75 mph through 2 feet of snow during a raging blizzard without flinching, you may live in Ohio. (could have before, probably not anymore)

~If you install security lights on your house and garage, but leave both doors unlocked, you may live in Ohio. (uh….)

~If you carry jumpers in your car and your wife knows how to use them, you may live in Ohio.(well, I AM the wife, and I know how to use them, but only since I moved to SC…. thanks Megan!)

~If you design your kid’s Halloween costume to fit over a snowsuit, you may live in Ohio. (I was one of those kids)

~If the speed limit on the highway is 55 mph -you’re going 80 and everybody is passing you, you may live in Ohio. (yup)

~If driving is better in the winter because the potholes are filled with snow, you may live in Ohio.

~If you know all 4 seasons: almost winter, winter, still winter and road construction, you may live in Ohio. (and why I moved to SC!)

~If you have more miles on your snow blower than your car, you may live in Ohio.

~If you find 10 degrees “a little chilly”, you may live in Ohio. (now I consider 60 degrees chilly – oh how the blood thins)

 

Kids Say The Darndest Things

I love my job.

I really do. There are definitely rough days for sure, but overall I feel like I’m making a difference (at least somewhat) and at least a few times a kiddo says something that just makes me LOL

Kids say the darndest things

• Once I needed to use the restroom and half a 99% empty coffee cup behind. When I returned, a couple of coffee spots had appeared on my piece of paper. I knew how it happened but wanted to see what would be said. Here is the conversation as it unfolded:

Me: What is this on the paper?

Kid: It coffee

Me: Did you spill it?

Kid: No, I drink it.

• While labeling some objects, a kid pointed to a clock and stated very clearly “clock”, only his rendition left off a rather important consonant. You know, the one that differentiates the item that tells time vs. well…you know.
• Once a kid looked down at my feet and asked “why do you have hair on your toes?”
• I use the word wait alot. Usually with my finger pointed in the “give me a minute” position. Today while playing, a kid looks at me, holds up a finger and goes “wait”……”wait”.
• Once a kid was describing to me the activity the kid wanted to do while we worked, and after the description was over, stated “because that’s how it works”
• Once I asked a kid why we wear coats. The answer, which I can’t fully remember, involved the following statement “because you could end up under a sign that says RIP…..with x’s over your eyes”
• One ended almost every statement with the word “baby”. I.E. Who’s food is this? The cat’s, baby!

This isn’t to say that I never said or did dumb stuff as a kid. My parents like to tell the story about a book they read to me quite often that had something to do with pine trees and cones. Having most of the book memorized, I apparently recited a page by saying “pine trees with cones….chocolate and vanilla”

Then there was the time I apparently closed myself in a closet and sing a Lionel Richie song

A bit embarassingly, I admit that I sucked my thumb until I was seven. In an attempt to get me to quit, my parents agreed that if I stopped for 30 days I could get my ears pierced. Apparently they had tried the bitter apple stuff, to which I had just licked it off, made a face, licked it off, made a face etc and continued to suck my thumb as normal. Since I badly wanted my ears pierced, I readily agreed. Three days in, my dad caught me sucking my thumb and told me I needed to start over. A crying fit ensued, where I begged and begged to please not have to start over. My dad thought for a moment and said “ok, we’ll just tack 3 days on the end instead”…….to which I replied “ok!”

Well played dad, well played.

                                                             (that was not me)

Please share your favorite story!

My glass has wine, so who cares?

I realized recently, while looking at my fertility friend calendar, that mother nature can be really cruel.

The end of my current cycle, and the due date of my next unwanted visitor is Thanksgiving Day.(and likely Christmas, also) Meaning that come Thanksgiving, I’m either going to be thankful for everything on earth, or thankful for whoever is refilling my glass of wine. (Riesling, please!)

My first instinct is to approach this situation with the mindset that it’s probably not going to happen anyway, so I might as well just expect the visitor to show up. However, according to The Secret, I’m supposed to be practicing picturing myself holding a positive test come Turkey Day (and I don’t mean positive for massive food overconsumption)

Which brings me to my question. Believe the glass is half full, or half empty?

To be fair, I’m not an always positive, always look on the bright side,run skipping through fields while holding hands in the sunshine kind of person. Bryan would more than likely pin me as a glass half empty kind of person. I tend to look at things as “hope for the best, prepare for the worst”, which I think would probably be interpreted as more pessimistic.

I like to say, because I’m both argumentative and sarcastic, that I’m being realistic. I would claim here that the glass just has half. However, there is a somewhat legit fight for both sides here.

Everyone knows the claim that positive thinking = a happier person and that finding the best in the worst situation causes less stress and depression. Heck, even the Secret claims that the universe essentially answers your thoughts, whether positive or negative.(i.e. glass half full)

On the other hand, as ANNOYING as it can be to hear “just quit trying and it’ll happen”, its uncanny the number of times I’ve heard that exact thing has happened.  (i.e.  situation hopeless or glass half empty)

Bryan is a bit more glass half full, so you can probably see where we might butt heads here. I’m trying to explain the logic and statistics of the situation, and he thinks I’m being too negative. The is part of the reason why things like The Secret are difficult for me to grasp. I’m too logical.  Being the type of person that also needs to have the last word (do not!), it’s kind of an issue that ends at the stalemate. We agree to disagree.

Since this wouldn’t be my blog if I didn’t say or do something like a smart@$$, I’m going to completely disregard the entire fight for both sides and say my glass has wine in it, so who cares?

Also, I totally want ice cream now, so if I have ice cream too, the above is even more true.

If you’re cool, you’ll take my poll:

Ohio: The Worst State Ever?

I grew up in the great Buckeye state. And by Buckeye I’m personally referring to the yummy mixture of chocolate and peanut butter. I could care less about football or the Ohio State Buckeyes, nor do I have a particular fondness for the tree.

What I didn’t realize until I moved here, is that for some reason that I have yet to understand, alot of people really HATE Ohio.

The first I heard of this was The Riverdogs’ Go Back to Ohio night , where, residents of Charleston vote on which visitors they would like to send back, and not only did Ohio win easily, but was apparently also the winner for the 3rd straight year. The idea was the best dressed Ohioian won a one way bus ticket back to Ohio.

Uh….what?

There’s even an I Hate Ohio Facebook page.

Granted, every state has one. The difference is, though, that the other random states I tried (Idaho, South Carolina and Texas) have a few hundred likes a best. The Ohio page has over 4,000.

(Yes, I laughed.)

Apparently a poll was also taken of 127 million people in October 2010 that deemed Ohio the worst state ever. I’d supply the link but it was broken. Maybe one of the Ohioans rioted.

(I laughed at that, too.)

I even found this classy joke:

What’s round at both ends and high in the middle?

Hell on earth.

(I’ll be retelling THAT one)

Now granted I didn’t do any extensive research but from what I did do, I couldn’t find one legit reason to hate Ohio. Other than the fact that its boring. And cold. And depressing.

But it has Cedar Point and Amish country, so there’s that.

I have to admit though, I’m surprised at how many people I’ve met here who have moved from Ohio. What I don’t get is why its such an issue. But if we’re going to make fun of Ohio for no real good reason, let’s pick on some other states, shall we?

How about the fact that Missouri sounds alot like misery? I’d rather live in Ohio.

Or the fact that Idaho, if sounded out the right sounds like I – da (the) ho. Yup- Ohio.

Lets not forget Hawaii. Its in the middle of the ocean! And its tropical. And warm year round. And lots of beaches…..yeah that one doesn’t work. I’d definitely leave Ohio for that.

North and South Dakota? Middle of nowhere. I’ll take Ohio.

Oklahoma is tornado alley. Bring on Ohio.

I moved and stayed out because I hate snow. But other than that, Ohio isn’t so bad. Besides, what other state has cool enough letters to be able to do this:

Rock on, Ohio.